Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
In case you were too busy recovering from a food coma and missed out on sports, we've got you covered. Here's everything you missed this weekend.
Nothing out of the ordinary
The Denver Broncos held off their divisional rivals, the Kansas City Chiefs, on Sunday. And while wide receiver Eric Decker's four touchdowns in the 35-28 win were impressive and all -- and not just because his trips to the end zone outnumbered the viewer total for his E! reality show -- it was running back Knowshon Moreno who stole the broadcast. During the singing of the national anthem, the camera caught him crying actual waterfalls (and not the rivers and the lakes that you're used to). While the Vines, Instagram clips and YouTube videos of the moment flooded in like … um, Moreno's tears, I'm most partial to this version set to "I Will Always Love You." Sing it, Whitney!
On the one hand, at least we know he's hydrated. On the other hand, he might want to see an eye doctor about that.
Moreno later explained that his waterworks were just due to the emotions before a game. Whitney does that to me, bro. No shame.
Knowshon said his tears were just the emotions of the game and being so blessed to play it.— Joan Niesen (@JoanNiesen) December 2, 2013
It never gets old
On Saturday night, Auburn stunned Alabama when Chris Davis returned a missed field goal 109 yards and scored an ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS touchdown as time expired to give the Tigers a 34-28 victory. And everyone outside of Tuscaloosa screamed "War Eagle!" while jumping on couches Tom Cruise-style. As a refresher, here's the Tecmo Bowl reenactment of the final play that we didn't know we wanted but are better for having.
And while Davis instantly cemented his place in college football lore, the Crimson Tide's hopes for a third straight national title were trampled on by storming Auburn fans. I know what you're thinking: It must be SO hard to be a 'Bama fan… NOT. I live in a state where the FBS team has won a grand total of two games all season. I think these fans will survive.
Naturally, social media was rife with reaction and taunts -- OK, mostly taunts -- about the upset. Recently released Chargers linebacker Takeo Spikes got the fun started from Auburn with a sign directed to Alabama QB AJ McCarron.
And if that's not adorable enough for you, a very young fan showed off his Cam Newton "Superman" move while talking about killing Alabama. Awwwww! Kids are just the cutest, aren't they?
Documented football fan and noted trainwreck Rob Ford attended the Falcons-Bills game in Toronto on Sunday. And hilarity obviously ensued. The controversial mayor managed to find time to pose with children, eat some wings and steal the seat of a famous Canadian singer. You know, just a typical day for good ol' Robby.
Rob Ford is sitting in my seat at the Bills game. He stole my seat. I don't know what to do.— Matt Mays (@MattMays) December 1, 2013
I have to kick him out right? It's awkward. I'm by myself.— Matt Mays (@MattMays) December 1, 2013
Somewhere out there, probably watching "Mean Girls" while getting a Botox injection, Lindsay Lohan is wondering if a mayoral run is in her future.
'That was fascinating'
Will Ferrell, er, Ron Burgundy anchored an actual newscast in Bismarck, N.D., on Saturday night. It's like he has a movie coming out or something.
Next up, "SportsCenter"! No, seriously. That's happening. I'll be staying classy in Bristol in the meantime.
See something worthy of inclusion on social media? Send it my way on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.