Riding to rescue on throwaway night

AP Photo/John Raoux

Just when we were starting to speculate about a Matt Schaub imposter, the quarterback performed his same old song and dance.

In case you were too busy wondering why no one speaks with an Austrian accent in "The Sound of Music" and missed out on sports, we've got you covered. Here's everything you missed last night.

That's more like it

In easily the best football game of the night that featured two teams with a combined total of five wins on the season, the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars defeated the even lowlier Houston Texans, 27-20. To make you feel better about not watching the game because you had to rearrange your shoe closet, it was the Jaguars' first home win in more than a year and the Texans' 11th straight loss. The NFL, ladies and gentlemen!

Texans quarterback and former starter Matt Schaub replaced Case Keenum late in the third quarter and shocked the Twitterverse when he uncharacteristically led the team to a touchdown and a field goal in his first two possessions. But then he seemed to remember his name was Matt Schaub, and he threw an interception with just over two minutes to play, all but sealing the win for Jacksonville. And the five people who were still tweeting and watching the game were all like, "There's the Matt Schaub we know and … know."

Barkley underground

Given the unenviable task of calling the New York Knicks-Brooklyn Nets game on Thursday night for TNT, Sir Charles Barkley decided to make the best of the experience and take his first NYC subway ride to the Barclays Center. Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch filmed the journey, for your amusement.

Can't decide if I laughed harder at his confusion about swiping his MetroCard or his "zero plus zero is still zero" comment when asked who would win the game. For the record, the Knicks ended their nine-game losing streak with a 113-83 victory. Carmelo Anthony and Co. might be the only people in America who'd like to see the Nets more often.

Look familiar?

While in Las Vegas this week for the annual NASCAR Champions Week festivities, reigning champ Jimmie "Six-Pack" Johnson decided to recreate scenes from "The Hangover." Because, WHY NOT? What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas… unless you're famous and choosing to share on your Instagram page.

Somehow, even Mr. Chow (aka Ben Chang aka Ken Jeong) got involved. Being famous definitely has some perks.

No toppings

The gang over at Mandatory.com decided to have some fun with Photoshop and make all of your favorite NFL QBs bald. The results are everything you didn't know your life was missing but really, really was. Although, have to assume Tom Brady might not have gotten that oh-so-coveted Uggs endorsement -- or a date with Giselle -- if his tresses actually looked like this.

See something worthy of inclusion on social media? Send it my way on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.

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