Try these trades on for size

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Dwight Howard is like the Candy Man. Say his name three times and and it will appear in trade talks for your NBA team.

Summer for the NBA is a wacky time that tests the imagination, loyalty and patience of fans around the globe. One day your favorite player is dropping dimes in Phoenix and the next he's gone Hollywood to play with the divisional rival Los Angles Lakers. Just ask Steve Nash fans. In an instant you must decide if you'll be loyal to the player or your team. It's enough to drive a fan wild.

Even players get caught up in free-agency frenzy. Last week, the Thunder's James Harden tweeted "Just found out I got traded to the Hornets ... I'll miss OKC."

This isn't true; therefore, either Harden was hacked, playing a really cruel joke on his fans or tricked by one of the many fake free-agency trade reports circling the web. Good one Harden, you got us! That's almost as funny as a beard with its own gravitational pull.

Then there is the Dwight Howard saga. I'll tread lightly here; he's like the Candy Man. Say his name three times and it will appear in trade talks for your team.

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Just imagine a little "Peace in Brooklyn". Metta World Peace that is.

In an effort to be join the free-agency circus, I've got a couple of trades I'd like to see happen this summer. Check the list, you might be on it.

ESPN The Magazine Body Issue for an animal-themed issue: Can you imagine the Bulls' Derrick Rose cuddling with kittens? Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis and a grizzly bear? The Bucks' Brandon Jennings with a real buck? Instant best-seller.

Metta World Peace to the Brooklyn Nets: Having Peace play in New York just miles from his hometown, Queensbridge, will be epic for everyone involved. I can already see airbrushed shirts being sold outside of Barclays Center on Flatbush Avenue saying, "Peace in Brooklyn." And, in return to Los Angeles, there's a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. Interested?

New York Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald for the guy selling hot dogs on the corner: He couldn't do any worse.

Regular iPhone Siri for a cooler ethnic version: It bugs me that Siri doesn't seem to understand my friends' colorful, ethnic names like Chamique and Nyasha. Also, when I tell it to type "Child please," she continues to ask me, "What doesn't the baby want?" For once, I'd like a phone that understands me.

Toronto Raptors to Seattle for unlimited Starbucks: Having one NBA team outside of the country isn't working anymore and it's terribly inconvenient for rookies who don't have their passports yet. With this trade, Seattle gets another NBA team, and Raptors fans will be caffeinated enough to watch their old team with a three-hour time difference. Everyone is winner.

American Idol judge Jennifer Lopez for a Real Housewife of Atlanta: Now that Lopez has called it quits on Idol, there's room for diva NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta to join the cast. Contestants better not talk back to her unless they want a drink thrown in their face.

Home Run Derby for Inside-the-Park Home Run Derby: I'm not quite sure of the logistics of this, but it would be nice to see guys race around the bases and actually work up a sweat. It would be like one big game of tag.

David Beckham for Harry Potter: Beckham recently said he doesn't think he is the right person to light the Olympic torch in his hometown of London. Then let's have Harry Potter, who is from London, light the torch. He can fly in on his Quidditch broomstick and light the torch using an "incendio" spell and his wand.

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