ICYMI: From laughter to terror
Changed the channel after realizing the Cardinals somehow had forgotten to show up to Fenway Park last night? Have no fear, we've got you covered. Here's everything you missed last night.
The Boston Red Sox dominated the St. Louis Cardinals 8-1 in Game 1 of the World Series on Wednesday night. David Ortiz and Mike Napoli led the Beards as each drove in three runs, and Jon Lester threw 7 2/3 scoreless innings. And while everything -- including a reversed call in the first inning -- seemed to go Boston's way, St. Louis struggled to get anything going. And I mean anything. It was so comically bad for the Cards that the Fenway crowd blatantly laughed when Adam Wainwright and Yadier Molina allowed a popup to literally fall between them. Womp, womp.
The look on Wainwright's face says it all. I haven't seen that level of flagrant apathy since Kristen Stewart promoted her last movie. BuzzFeed Sports captured the game-defining moment in a handy GIF:
"SportsCenter" might have summed up the play best.
Adam Wainwright and Yadier Molina just made the #SCNotTop10!— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) October 24, 2013
While the Cardinals may have been the punch line of just about every joke Wednesday night, the city of Boston can't get off that easy. Not, that is, with its sports-challenged mayor. After telling reporters on Tuesday that he hoped the Red Sox would win the, ahem, "World Series Cup" and with his slew of other sports blunders over the years (Jason Varitek splitting the uprights to win the Super Bowl, anyone?), Mayor Thomas Menino has made himself fair game in the humor department. Jimmy Kimmel wasted no time in spoofing the gaffe.
He's OK. No, really.
Oft-injured center Greg Oden made his debut for the Miami Heat in Wednesday's preseason matchup against the New Orleans Pelicans. It was his first NBA action in 1,418 days. That is not sarcasm; he really hadn't played since Dec. 5, 2009. Shortly after entering the game in the second quarter, the seven-footer DUNKED THE BASKETBALL. The Heat bench went crazy, and Oden tapped the backboard in celebration. And then promptly hurt his knee. Sorry, that last part isn't true. I had just gotten so used to writing that sentence, I couldn't help it. Thankfully -- and perhaps shockingly -- the big man managed to stay healthy throughout the game.
In news that surely elicited immediate eye rolls, terror and fear from every member of the American sports media, the St. Louis Rams reached out to Brett Favre to see if he would replace the out-for-the-season Sam Bradford. My co-workers reacted accordingly.
Because there surely is some sort of higher power, Favre declined the offer. The 44-year-old grandfather who has struggled with understanding the definition of "retirement" in the past told Sports Talk 570 Powered by ESPN in Washington, D.C., that the offer was "flattering" but there is "no way in hell" he would return. And everyone in every newsroom in the country breathed a collective sigh of relief.
Somewhere out there, probably on a beach studying a CFL rulebook, Tim Tebow has to be wondering why he didn't get a call.