SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. -- Normally it's taboo to talk about "people watching" on the PGA Tour when you're inside the ropes, but extraordinary circumstances brings with it exceptions to the rules.
At the Waste Management Phoenix Open, a golf tournament is going on inside the middle of a social gathering. Plug an enclosed golf hole with an NCAA football atmosphere ... and ignoring the elephant in the room is worse than facing it, don't you think?
Enjoy this week's confidential!
Collins: They say it's the greatest show on grass. Is it the greatest for a caddie?
Caddie: It's a lot of fun ... I'd say it's the greatest show on grass, yeah, for a regular tour event. I'd say maybe Augusta. I always enjoy the Open Championship. But for a regular event, yeah, I'd say it's the greatest show on grass. It's the greatest people watching for sure.
Collins: How important is it to have your player embrace the atmosphere here this week?
Caddie: The worse thing a guy could do is try and deny it. You gotta go in there, you gotta play to the crowd a little bit. I've always said, you know, you go in there, somebody's gonna yell in your backswing. Somebody's not going to be paying attention. Somebody's gonna get a drink dumped on their head in your backswing. Something's gonna happen. You gotta go in there and embrace it. I've always said the tour should just go in there and have the music just blaring all day long. Ya know, have a guy have his favorite song.
Collins: Walk-up music!?!
Caddie: Yeah, walk-up music. Could be something for some of these old guys like Toby Keith. [The caddie starts singing.] "I ain't as good as I once was..." Or you know, something you could have a little fun with it. You can get the crowd into it a little bit more and then the noise wouldn't be an issue. But like I said, players have to embrace it. Don't try and deny it. Or the worst thing you can do [makes a motion like a quarterback asking for crowd to get quiet] "SSSHHHH." That's just gonna let 'em come out of their seats and raise the roof on them.
Collins: That is the craziness of the 16th. What's it like on the front nine?
Collins: Is that weird?
Caddie: ... Couple guys' moms and dads will be out following them, ya know? That's about it. But the weirdest thing is, you get like a Friday afternoon or there's been times we've done threesomes on the weekend, and you start on the back nine like late on Friday, so you go through the "meat" of it and then you have to go to the front nine and finish up your round. You might see 15 people on the front nine. ... Golf is definitely the second thing going on out here. The party is the first! I think guys understand that. It's kinda nice, though, sometimes ... you can get some momentum going and finish in some peace and quiet.
Collins: What's the craziest thing you've ever seen happen at this tournament?
Caddie: So I was caddying, we were in the second-to-last group on a Saturday ... [on the] 17th hole. And on the left it was burnt out dormant Bermuda (grass), so it was real slippery and these two girls took off fighting in the crowd.
Collins: Fist fighting?
Caddie: Yeah and the guy I was working for was walking into his shot when this went down. And they rolled down under the ropes out into the middle and they were [throwing] haymakers. And then the guy tried jumping in, and a cop jumped in. And the guy bit the cops' thumb and it was crazy! While my guy was trying to hit a shot! And we just kinda, with everybody, sat back and watched it.
Yeah, that about sums it up perfectly!