This is the time of the year to celebrate who's here and to reflect upon what's melancholy.

Recollections of the way the holidays used to be are always with us.

At the sea-side in May, who has the time to think about those who have come and gone; home for the holidays, sure, it's all about coming full circle.

Have you ever wondered what happened to somebody who used to regularly attend the horses races and gave it up?

I know a couple of people who were in the middle of the Racing Form one day, gone the next. Both continued to live in good health. Since there is no such thing as a sick winner, you'd think that giving up the races all of a sudden had to do with losing money.

Such was in fact the case in both instances.

One friend said had quit gambling all around, cards, slots, horses, you name it, and he didn't want to talk about it much beyond the fact that he was going to step meetings where you admitted that you were powerless over an obsessive urge, where you found comfort and strength in sharing.

Certain treatments suggest that certain individuals are unable to choose between sanity and obsession. This is to say that if you stood in a field between your house and a tavern, the choice to turn left and have 13 beers and pass out drunk behind a public toilet was not really yours, but was a genetic influence instead. If you can choose to quit something, you couldn't have chosen to start? Can a person be predestined not to believe in predestination?

I'm just asking.

Both acquaintances who had quit the horse races because they were losing money said that they had replaced the time spent at the track with hobbies or family. One had taken up golf and was spending more money on that than he ever had at the horse races, what with the price of a club membership and new sticks.

Neither person seemed to have much more cash on hand after giving up the horse races.

It was just being redirected -- trips with the wife to gardening activities instead of playing the Del Mar meet.

Golf rounds of 97 instead of handicapping the Saturday card at Lone Star.

Irresponsible gambling had caused both acquaintances to withdraw from an activity they had very much enjoyed.

What is responsible gambling on horses?

There is obviously a Catch 22 involved here because to gamble responsibly, you have to spend even more time calmly observing. Time is not spent at the track by irresponsible gamblers. Time is wasted there.

To me, this looks like responsible gambling.

1. Use money you can afford to lose. It sounds corny. But if you have to borrow at the ATM machine to go to a movie, that's probably a bad idea as well, particularly if you do it daily.

2. Have patience. You need to have the time to be able to refrain from betting a great number of races.

3. You need to be the same person at the races as you are away from the races. Split-personalities are a bad sign. Gamble responsibly, people.

The alternatives could be terrifying.

Write to Jay at jaycronley@go.com