Awards shows are a staple of our celebrity-worshipping culture, and I do my best to avoid them. Not watching requires constant clicking, though, because they're always on.

Unlike most of my journalistic colleagues, I have trouble getting excited about the Eclipse Awards. Maybe it's because I've never won one. I guess my stuff just isn't serious and respectful enough. I have too many bad thoughts, and I can't keep my mouth shut. This aging wise guy has a good time, though, and I do hand out a lot of laughs. Jokers don't get the prized hardware, though.

In the late '80s, I attended my only Eclipse dinner, even renting formal attire for the occasion at a huge ballroom at a Manhattan hotel. I was glad I went but never had the urge to go back. Dressing up like a penguin to eat generic banquet food and hear dull speeches isn't my idea of a good time.

I try to be a just judge and always file my ballot on time, yet my overriding feeling is of anticlimax. The excitement was in the racing, not in sitting and deciding upon the champions. Usually, most of the decisions are no-brainers, and when they're not, there's confusion. There are no set criteria, so you're on your own.

Was the Horse of the Year the best runner, the most charismatic, or the one that earned the most money? Was the champion the animal with the best overall record, or the one who won on Breeders' Cup day? Do titles earned before summer count less than ones earned at Saratoga and in autumn?

The awards for humans have even more gray area. What's more important: quality or quantity; most wins at any level or in Grade I's? Sometimes, voters use different standards for different categories. I know I have.

So here were my picks for the 2004 Eclipses, which will be handed out Jan. 24 in Beverly Hills. Like the Academy Awards, I'll start with the less prestigious trophies and finish with the big one, Horse of the Year.

Breeder: Someday Farm
Produced Smarty Jones, which was good enough for me.
2. Adena Springs/Stronach Entities. 3. John Franks.

Owner: Stronach Stables
Stood in the winner's circle with Ghostzapper and many other quality runners.
2. Michael Gill. 3. Kenneth and Sarah Ramsey.

Apprentice rider: Brian Hernandez Jr.
Distinguished himself in the tough Kentucky riding colony.
2. Pablo Fragoso. 3. Mick Ruis.

Steeplechaser: Hirapour
I'm among the few racing writers who actually likes jump racing. Even when you lose, you get four or five minutes of bang for your buck. I took Hirapour because although he ran only four times, he was 2-for-3 in Grade I events and was never worse than second.
2. Preemptive Strike. 3. Sur La Tete.

2-year-old colt: Declan's Moon
Even though I think the undefeated Rockport Harbor should be the best 3-year-old of this group, I took the 4-for-4 Hollywood Futurity winner. Declan's Moon beat Breeders' Cup Juvenile winner Wilko at Hollywood, so give him the trophy.
2. Wilko. 3. Afleet Alex.

2-year-old filly: Sweet Catomine
The brilliant Juvenile Fillies winner should be nearly a unanimous pick.
2. Balletto. 3. Runway Model.

3-year-old colt: Smarty Jones
The Philadelphia Flyer came out of nowhere to become an international celebrity and a beloved cult figure by winning the first two legs of the Triple Crown while undefeated. The saddest sound at any racetrack all year was the collective howl when Birdstone passed the exhausted Smarty 70 yards from the wire in the Belmont Stakes.
2. Birdstone. 3. Lion Heart.

3-year-old filly: Ashado
She capped a 5-for-8 season with an emphatic win over elders in the Distaff. She had speed, stamina and class and stayed in top form from early March through late October.
2. Society Selection. 3. Stellar Jayne

Male handicap horse: Ghostzapper
He didn't run until the Fourth of July but made the absolute most of a brief season. Put up astounding Beyer Speed Figures of 120, 124 and 128, which we may not see again for 20 years.
2. Pleasantly Perfect. 3. Roses in May.

Female handicap horse: Sightseek
Went back and forth between her and Azeri, with whom she split two confrontations. Both won three Grade I's, and I can't argue with anyone who picked Azeri.
2. Azeri. 3. Storm Flag Flying.

Sprinter: Pico Central
Yes, he skipped the Breeders' Cup and ran third in the Cigar Mile, his season finale, but winning the Carter, Met Mile and Vosburgh was enough for me. Speightstown did win the Breeders' Cup Sprint, but he lost to Pico Central in the Vosburgh.
2. Speightstown. 3. Kela.

Male turf horse: Kitten's Joy
Went 6-for-8 and might have gotten a few Horse of the Year votes if he'd won the Turf at Lone Star Park. Only defeats were on soft ground, so he does have a weakness, but at his best he was untouchable.
2. Better Talk Now. 3. Singletary.

Female turf horse: Ouija Board
Queen of the European turf dominated the Breeders' Cup Filly & Mare Turf after running a terrific third off a 2?-month layoff in the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe. No one in North America was in her class.
2. Riskaverse. 3. Wonder Again.

Jockey: John Velazquez
Protégé of Hall of Famer Angel Cordero has no weakness and finally deserves to be recognized as a year's champion. Earned more than $22 million and ruled Saratoga again while riding Todd Pletcher's all-conquering stable.
2. Rafael Bejarano. 3. Ramon Dominguez.

Trainer: Todd Pletcher
Dominated Saratoga again, won two races on Breeders' Cup day and was a force with all sorts of horses all year all over the country. At this rate, Pletcher, 37, will be in the Hall of Fame at 45. He's intelligent, tireless and, like his mentor Wayne Lukas, excels at overseeing a huge operation.
2. Steve Asmussen (all-time record for most wins in a year)
3. Bobby Frankel (most Grade I wins).

Horse of the Year: Ghostzapper
Although he didn't make his season debut until July, he was fantastic in his four races, capped by his no-doubt triumph in the Classic. Although he didn't have the following of Smarty Jones, he was faster than the 3-year-old star, whose early departure hurt his chances severely.
2. Smarty Jones. 3. Roses in May.