Not everyone is an expert on America's favorite race, though it may seem like it sometimes. Here are some common questions usually asked by those who have yet to slurp from an over-priced mint julep on the hallowed grounds of Churchill Downs during the first Saturday in May.

Q: I'm saving up for a special trip. Which would you suggest, the Indianapolis 500 or the Kentucky Derby?
A: This one is no contest. The Derby. Most bets on the Indy 500 are made with somebody drinking beer. And a horse can't win a race under the caution flag.

Q: This is my first time in the infield for the Kentucky Derby. Any advice?
A: I spent Derby Day in the infield a few ago. It is very much a party atmosphere. Dress is casual. Some people in the infield use fancy hats for Frisbees and play catch with them. After a few hours of fun and sun, don't be surprised if somebody says, "Show us your Daily Double."

Q: What kind of hotel or motel accommodations might a person expect for $375 per night?
A: Just about the same kind of room you can get for $95 a night in a couple of weeks.

Q: What is a private box on the finish line like on Derby Day?
A: As the guest of an obviously prominent Louisville businessman, I sat upstairs and even with the wire in 1987, the year Alysheba stumbled halfway down the home stretch and almost fell on its nose, but somehow remained upright and won. The dress in the high rent district at that Derby was crisp linen early, wadded-looking linen 15 minutes later. It was more like a fund-raiser for the opera than a sporting event, as people important to the area talked politics as much as racing. I spilled something on my light-colored jacket early in the day. It spotted badly on a lapel and I couldn't focus and lost something like $500. If you're upstairs, take spot remover.

Q: Are race horses athletes?
A: My definition of an athlete is somebody who renegotiates.

Q: Can we expect any innovations in the television coverage of this year's Kentucky Derby?
A: I was a big fan of the psychedelic puck in coverage of the National Hockey League games on television, and the jockey cam at the horse races. The jockey cam was mounted on the rider's cap. One obvious problem was if the horse left the gate first, it looked like a scene from "O Brother Where Art Thou?," with nothing much but bouncing ground showing during a break-away run.

Generally speaking, television coverage of sporting events is tweaked when the action is slow, the insertion of multi-dimensional graphs over the strike zone in baseball, for example. A horse race is exciting enough to be televised in a straight-forward manner. Isolating a camera on the winner is usually technique enough. Heart-warming features about anybody elderly, unknown or not feeling well can be counted on before the big race. And celebrity sightings at the Derby have stepped up in class markedly in recent years. Time was, somebody like a game show host would be seen prior to the post saying he was going to bet on a horse named the same as his cat. Anymore, feature film stars are on hand. As Cameron Diaz has been popping up half-naked from coast to coast to promote her most recent cheesy flick, who knows, maybe we'll get her here.

The celebrity who is odds-on to be on the tube early and often is Louisville hoop coach Rick Pitino.

Q: Are jockeys athletes?
A: Have you saddled up at a dude ranch recently? Jockeys are among the best athletes.

Q: What if I don't drink a mint julep?
A: You might actually win some money.

Q: Why are favorites such a bad bet at the Derby?
A: Usually four or five horses have a legitimate chance to win. The favorite doesn't go off at odds of four or five to one

Q: Does a track bias come into play at the Derby?
A: It's more like a mob bias, mob as in crowd. In a field of 20 horses, drafting behind the first flight of animals is of the utmost importance.

Q: Are horse players athletes?
A: Have you ever seen a gambler drop dead in a betting line?