In this month's GQ, Bob Baffert is pictured lounging sideways with his wife, his hand pushing the front of her shirt up a little.

In other news that has nothing to do with making a buck at the track, the Kentucky Derby is Saturday.

On Easter and at Christmas, louts set the alarm and go find church; and on the first Saturday in May, people who like to party on buy a hat and go find Churchill.

Derby Day, it makes as much sense to party on as it does to wager on.

The Kentucky Derby is go gambling as roulette is to investing.

It's more like hoping than handicapping, it can seem more religious than sporty: Please, Somebody up there, help.

The difficulty in trying to figure out what an animal will do the first time it tries something hard is what makes the Kentucky Derby one of sport's great challenges.

Despite the confusion that can arise from trying to pick two of the top half dozen finishers, the Kentucky Derby has several built-in advantages for the race track regular.

And yes, all track regulars have to bet the Derby because on no other day in time immemorial might a handicapper be walking around luckier without knowing it.

One, a successful two-dollar Exacta bet will make you plenty.

Two, what do party people in fancy hats know about betting.

Successful horse handicapping is like counting cards at blackjack.

You settle on a profitable angle and you wait and wait and wait for it to appear.

Playing the Derby can be like betting a thousand on the first blackjack hand out of the shoe.

The Kentucky Derby is particularly tough on people who specialize in small track action where, believe it or not, a 3-1winner pays eight bucks, same as where everybody wears linen.

I, for one, find the sight of more than four healthy horses on a racing surface at the same time to be almost debilitating.

The first Saturday in May is always good theater, grandstand included.

It's not the front row at a Laker playoff game. But the celebrities at Churchill Downs on Derby Day no longer have to wear nametags.

The horse racing industry is constantly looking for ways to better itself.

Like the preacher with a full house twice a year, I would like to briefly use Derby week, with everybody reading about horses, to suggest a change to better the game.

Some tracks think the future of the sport is with the newcomers.

I say take care of the regulars and they will repopulate the tracks out of love for the sport.

The week before last at a small track, here come two horses around the turn, driving for home, the inside animal running its guts out at 13-1, the squeaky chalk right there, a head on top.

The $28 horse came back and won by an inch.

The losing jockey objected much better than he rode.

He filed a complaint with the stewards somewhere up above, a complaint for what, who knew, maybe cussing in the dressing room.

It was the last race on the card.

Presently, the track announcer came on the speaker and said the order of finished had been reversed.

No replays were put on the monitors.

No explanation was offered.

Good night everybody. Drive safely. Once you have regained consciousness.

Officials everywhere are over-protected.

We weren't talking about a charging call on the basketball court here.

We were talking about money.

Put the official who made the ruling on screen and let's see and hear an explanation.

When you're talking about money, investors have rights and deserve every break and should be coddled.

As for some Derby picks, let's put Empire Maker over Funny Cide and Scrimshaw.

And then we let the favorite go and put Peace Rules and Ten Most Wanted over each other as well as the 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 16 and 17.

Boxing Empire Maker, Peace Rules and Ten Most Wanted should pay for dinner.

Dinner for two, not four.