In pursuit of a feature on the unlikeliest All-Star ever -- Anthony Mason -- ESPN The Magazine's Ric Bucher moonlights as a ref and a fashion expert.

The box scores and highlights might suggest otherwise, but there are ways to be entertained when following the Heat around. There are even ways to catch some exciting offense. You just have to arrive early, stay late and not devote too much of your notebook to the actual game.

Catching some captivating O for a team I've now seen score 74, 85, 75 and 69 points in five games requires finding assistant coach Bob McAdoo and whoever he's challenging to a 1-on-1 pre-game contest. Today it's rookie Eddie House, meaning a classic old-school, new-school duel to 11 by ones. McAdoo dribbles into the paint, then starts into a hook shot but pulls the ball down and hoists a feathery jumper. House protests -- "Travelling!" -- and asks for a ruling. When I find in Mac's favor, House grouses, "Of course. He's the Hall of Famer, right?"

House holds his own, but The 'Doo is on fire, drifting a good stride behind the three-point arc to bury one nothing-but-netter. After hitting the game-clincher, McAdoo yells, "Game!" and then immediately turns to playing post defense on Anthony Mason. The coach whispers in Mase's ear, "Busted his young a--!"

I follow House into the locker room, where the Heat are surreptitiously mocking TNT reporter Craig Sager's speckled-brick sportcoat. Ced Ceballos is kneeling on the floor in front of Tim Hardaway, cutting an imaginary pattern out of the industrial carpet. Timbug laughs but stops short of cracking on Sager -- perhaps because once upon a time he climbed onto the Warriors' team bus wearing a lime-green suit that had his teammates fumbling for their shades.

Hardaway's sporting a rather sedate blue-suit ensemble, but the ol' Tim is lurking. He's fantasizing about the red unis the Heat wore two years ago and how they needed to break them out for pivotal games like this one. "That red gives you a whole different mentality," he says. "Brrrr!"

I don't bother asking Sager if it's working for him.