With so much dirt being kicked around baseball lately, we've hired our own gossip columnist, Tim Timmons, to give us the latest on the bigs in a new column called "Bean Ball." Tim's opinions, facts and anecdotes may be totally unfounded.

Hey, diamond lovers! Tim here! Wild times in MLB: Ken and his steroids, Jose and his tell-all book, and let's not forget Mike P.! Is he, or isn't he? It's all so -- what's the word? -- SHOCKING! And soooo last inning. In the tawdry world of baseball, there's always more scandal waiting in the on-deck circle. Batter up!

Okay, you didn't hear this from me, but a source swears that the Angels team plane isn't so angelic. Instead of reading in-flight magazines, the Halos play ... poker! For money! With antes and everything! Too bad you left the team, Mo. Sounds like a four-bagger of a ride ... and a scandal!

	Chicks dig sci-fi geeks.

You're never going to believe this: A certain ace pitcher on the Braves who shall remain nameless (his name rhymes with Mom Slavine) saw the new Star Wars on a road trip in Miami and supposedly said he believes in life on other planets! Maybe his ERA really is out of this world!

Now, keep this hush hush, but a certain backup catcher for the Cubs likes to par-tay! My spies spotted Mr. Girardi at Dave & Buster's emptying his tokens in a Frogger machine! Be careful of those speeding cars, Joe. Scandalous!

This just in … oy vey! Dodgers' Jewish slugger Shawn Green was seen eating a slice of pepperoni pizza in between games of a doubleheader against the Pirates. Someone call the rabbi, and tell him to bless this corrupting game called baseball!

You think youngsters are the only scandalous ones? Think again! Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver was seen at Taco Bell eating not one, not two, but three Taco Bel Grandes! All of them chicken! But where were the Crispas, Tom Terrific? It's one, two, three strikes … you're scandalous!"

Oh, boy, do I have one for you! This juicy tidbit comes from the Royals organization. Or should I say disorganization! Seems that before games, a budding young outfielder named Jermaine likes to listen to his Walkman in the locker room. And wait, guess what he plays on it? That's right: Innervisions by Stevie Wonder. And you thought that rap music was bad!

Bonjour, mes amis! I could go on forever -- but I won't, because I have to tell you that Expos slugger Vlad Guerrero isn't at all for Quebec's secession from Canada. He'd rather the province be a fully functioning part of the country and continue to reap the federal benefits. Mon dieu!

And finally, this nugget from the Bronx -- apparently, during a huddle at the mound last week at Yankee Stadium, Jorge Posada and Roger Clemens couldn't decide how to pitch to White Sox slugger Frank Thomas, so they intentionally walked him! What's next? A pitch-out? Stop the madness!

On deck for next week: On the mound with Cards ace Woody Williams. I know, you're wondering if his real name is Woody? Well, you'll just have to wait until the next Bean Ball, but I guarantee the answer is like everything else in baseball … scandalous!

Got any scandalous scoops of your own? E-mail them to pulse@espnmag.com.