FOXBORO, Mass. -- His first NFL touchdown barely got a spike and a half-hearted yippee. But when Patriots rookie wideout Deion Branch knocked Pittsburgh safety Lee Flowers off his feet with a vicious, take-your-breath-away crack-back block -- the players call it getting 'blasted' or 'blown up' but I prefer my granny's description: knocked ass-over-tea-kettle -- the guy celebrated so much he actually got winded.

Yeah, the block sprung Donald Hayes' 40-yard TD and sparked the Patriots' 30-14 manhandling of the Steelers. (The likes of which I have never seen covering Bill Cowher's entire tenure in Pittsburgh. I actually heard a press box wag yell, "Is butt kicking one word or two?")

	30 Second Column
	Memo to the Pats: Unless you guys put Aretha Franklin on your roster, please can all this senseless whining about respect. As far as cliched, trite, boring locker room motivational techniques go, the no-one-respects-us theme is as broken down and useless as old Foxboro. No one respects you? Four guys went to the Pro Bowl last year. Your QB went to Disney World and inked a huge contract. Your coach has one of his old game plans in Canton. MNF? George Bush? Junichiro Koizumi? The FlemFile? We all attended your home opener. My point is, you guys are world champions, can't you at least whine like it? After all, the Patriots are the official endorsers of the breakfast sandwiches at all participating Providence-area Dunkin Donuts. And in my mind, you can't get any more respect than that.
	The Flemister File
	Wherein we follow the exploits of Washington TE and FlemFile mascot Zeron Flemister. Our man now leads the pass-happy Redskins with a 19.0 yards-per-catch average. Okay, fine, it was one catch for 19 yards against the Cardinals but the NUMBERS DON'T LIE. ZFlem kept a key late third-quarter drive alive by slipping under the Cards' linebackers on a Ydrag across the middle of the field and then breaking for extra yards thanks to all the perfect picks set by the rest of the 'Skins wideouts. ZFlem says he would have taken it to the hiz-ouse but the 95-degree heat had him soaked in sweat and he was too worried about the ball squirting out. Covering a punt in the fourth quarter, though, ZFlem almost lost a lot more than sweat. He got blindsided, de-cleated, crushed (take your pick) running up the sidelines. What stung worse, though, was getting laughed at during Monday's film session. "My feet were like five feet off the ground," he says. "I wish I knew who did it to me, but I honestly can't remember."
	The Flem Five
	The top five most predictable things that happened during an otherwise unpredictable NFL Week 1. 5. Kordell Stewart's INTs -- Based on his performance on MNF he's already back in playoff shape. 4. Priest Holmes' four TDs -- The best back in the AFC in 2001 is about to take over the whole league. 3. Mike Martz's ego -- It's getting so big they may have to clear a roster spot for it. 2. Browns blow another -- Yawn. This makes four last-play losses since 2001. 1. Bengals lose -- Hey, why should this year be different than the last dozen?
	WHYLO of the Week
	This week we rename the award WHYCO -- as in, Who Helped You Chat Online? -- in honor of Friday's ESPN.com chat which was a ton of fun but bogged down by a group of doofuses in Boston who tossed out gems like: Who are you? (Actually, that's a legit query.) Are you related to Peggy Fleming? And several other unprintable doozies that are too vulgar even for the internet. These guys crowded up the chat room, therefore limiting me from answering more important questions about my alma mater, Miami University (LSU IS GOING DOWN), my dog and deranged Browns fans. So to all you Boston chat room chowderheads, YOU'RE ALL WHYCO psychos.
	Flem Gems
	Here's a signature performance by Emmitt Smith that most people missed. The 'Boys played in Chicago in 1996 and the Bears were attacking soggy-brained Troy Aikman from every angle. On the sidelines the Dallas D stood in awed silence watching Smith blast blitzers -- corners, safeties, 'backers, nose tackles, didn't matter -- backwards through the holes they came through. "Emmitt had some great runs that day, but I will always think of those blocks when I think of Emmitt Smith," safety Darren Woodson told me. "Those blocks show you what makes the man special: heart and courage." Speaking of Smith, turns out 33 is not a good year for running backs. At 33 Walter Payton gained 533 yards. Thurman Thomas? 152. Eric Dickerson? 273 -- feet. This can't be true: I saw Reservoir Dogs action figures at the mall last week. Do they come with a severed ear? I swear, on half a dozen key plays Monday night, the Pats defense seemed to know the Pittsburgh play better than the Steelers. Miami RB Robert Edwards, who nearly had his foot amputated after suffering a horrific knee injury during an NFL flag football game in Hawaii several years ago, could sit out the rest of the season and still win the Comeback Player of the Year Award. Three thoughts on the opening of Gillette Stadium 1) Walking the 100 yards from my car to the press gate no less than eight Gillette workers, clad in crisp blue blazers, joyfully escorted me on my way. 2) An odd security moment happened when folks checking people entering the stadium weren't exactly sure what to do with the six gentlemen dressed up in Revolutionary War garb and carrying muskets to fire after each score. They got in but probably ran out of ammo due to Air Belichick. 3) I missed most of the gala laser-light opening of the stadium because I was checking out the bomb-sniffing dogs in the media eatia. At first I was worried they were after my Joe Banner column from last week. For the record, if bombs were made out of Pop Tarts, my fat lab Scoop would be the best bomb-sniffing mut on the planet. By my count Bills QB Drew Bledsoe got hit hard 22 times against the Jets, not counting his bad-ass blocking. God love him for the effort but he won't survive past Halloween if they let him get hit like that each week.

But that block, oh that block, it meant so much more to Branch and the Patriots. The little things always do with this magical band of misfits. Touchdowns come and go, they say. The chance to crack a safety, particularly one as mouthy as Flowers -- well, those are rare moments indeed, sweet and pure. "That felt better than any touchdown," the 5'9" Branch said. "I'll take that block over a TD any day. Those are so much more fun. It felt like I scored. I mean, I jumped and celebrated so much I was ... well ... tired."

The game had yet to become a blowout and most of the Patriot wideouts were running fades on the fateful play. Hayes ran a 14-yard stop on the left sideline, and next to him in the slot Branch ran a seam route straight down the field. When he saw Hayes catch the ball he turned, out of instinct, to help seal a defender and ... WHAM!

Perfect timing (before Flowers could see him); perfect form (arms up under his shoulder pads); perfect finish (legs exploding, driving, running through him). The result? Flowers, who has a greenhouse in his home back in Atlanta, got planted upside down in the turf like a Pittsburgh petunia. Boy, I bet he'd like to block that block out of his mind ... if he even remembers it.

That was it. The switch had been flicked. Game over. Sayonara.

Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi was at Gillette Stadium last night. Now, you could sit him down for two hours (or, as long as the pregame show went on here) and try to explain the zone blitz or the West Coast offense to him. Or you could just show him Branch's block (or Drew Bledsoe's crack-back on Jets tackle Jason Ferguson) and say: That right there, that guy laying there as dead as sushi? That right there is football. Clean. Selfless. White-hot. Pure. Fair. And ultra-violent. Football.

You can have your kick returns and your flea-flickers and your last-second field goals and your Air-Belichick (who knew?). For me, Branch launching Flowers into orbit was my Week 1 highlight, the play that signified to me the beginning of another season. "For a second when you make that block, you get to feel like you're actually 6'5", 230 pounds, like linebackers," said Pats wideout Troy Brown. "Defenders get to take so many shots at us, get to line us up and try to take our heads off. So when we get a chance for revenge? We gotta take it."

Ever head downstairs in the morning, half-asleep and -- whoops! -- miss that last step and go flying? Ya know that dizzy, woozy, where-am-I feeling right before your melon hits the floor? Well, that's what it feels like to get cracked on. It's why DBs in this league are constantly yelling at each other, "Keep it on a swivel, keep your head on a swivel." Ironically, one of the best in the league at the lethal blocks is Pittsburgh's Hines Ward. Last season Ward crushed former Baltimore 'backer Jamie Sharper and knocked out a Cleveland defender who I think they're still trying to revive.

"It's like getting punched in the face when you don't know it's coming," said Pats safety Tebucky Jones. "Or, you just call it getting knocked out. The worst part is films the next day, when everyone laughs and points and says, 'That little dude knocked you out.' That's why the first thing I do is bounce up and find out who did it. Rest of the game my focus is on you."

A few seasons ago I asked the hard-hitting former Redskins safety Mark Carrier about crack-back blocks -- the wideout's revenge, he called them. -- He scratched his chin and stared at me for a long time, and then said, "Ya know, I really want to help you with this but I honestly don't remember any of the times I got cracked on ... I really wish I did though."

Teams don't practice this. Blocks don't show up in media guides. No one makes the Pro Bowl for de-cleating DBs -- even though they should. "But that block is what team football is all about," said Brown. "And that's the way we're built. You expect people to block for you when you get the ball so you'd better block for them. It's what we're about."

With his defense intact after the Super Bowl, head coach Bill Belichick was able to concentrate on offense during the draft and ended up taking Branch in the second round out of Louisville, where the receiving corps was nicknamed AFROS -- America's Finest Recievers on Saturdays. (Too bad AFROM just doesn't have the same ring to it.) Even though on MNF, Branch, who many experts said was too small and too slow, finished with six catches for 83 yards a TD and one crazy crack-back block.

Branch says he will give his TD ball to his 19-month-old son, Deiondre, but talking to him after the game I got the feeling that he would have preferred to present him with an even better keepsake. One that's a more fitting symbol of the Patriots and the kind of play behind their now 10-game winning streak. Like the divot from Flowers' facemask.

David Fleming is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at flemfile@aol.com. But watch out -- you could be the WHYLO of the Week.