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The WHYLOs of the Week
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Most of the e-mail this week, including the WHYLO, is from people who have gone back and cyber-trolled up old columns from the past.

Let's dispense with the WHYLO first.

Second runner-up was someone named Stutz who sent this gem in: "Could you tell me if there is any truth to the rumor that the Northstars were moved to Dallas because someone in the organization was boinking the owner's daughter?"

No, in fact, they moved the franchise to get away from you.

First runner-up is my sister-in-law, Kristen, a freshman at Miami University and about the coolest person you could ever meet. Or so I thought. My world was shattered when I found out that Wooty (that's her nickname) didn't know who the lead singer of U2 is. Man, what the hell is the world coming to?

And now, the WHYLO of the Week:

Concerning an old column I wrote for, in which I drove my Honda Civic around the race track in Charlotte, Victoria wrote, "The only reason why I read your article is because I thought that it would have something to do with the title, Speed Racer, the '60s cartoon show. I didn't appreciate your title giving the impression that it actually had something to do with Speed Racer. So for future reference please leave Speed Racer out of your article title so that you will prevent misleading the reader of the article."

The best part of e-mails like this: I don't have to waste your time with an explanation of why Victoria is the WHYLO of the WEEK.

Okay, to the tune of Go, Speed Racer, Go! we ask Victoria, Who Helped You Log On?

From the mailbag, Ethan wrote, "Oh by the way, your column you wrote a couple of years ago concerning your attempt to run a 5-flat 40-yard dash is one of, if not the greatest sports column ever written. I still laugh when I think of that neighbor girl running it barefoot. I'm laughing right now."

Ethan, I am currently in training (I have cut back to three PopTarts a day) and when the NFL combine rolls around I will attempt the 40 again, I promise.

Trying to score brownie points, Jason wrote, "I DO NOT LIKE PRO WRESTLING. That said, I'm glad you're back. You are one of the few writers out there who can really see and convey how sports can really affect our lives. Your Ricky Williams piece is among my all time favorites. Plus, you're f---in' funny (correct usage?). Thank you, your column is a bright spot in my week."

Yes, Jason, correct usage.

Jockstrap backlash included this from Todd: "I got a big kick out of your Flem File. I, like you, have not purchased a jock strap for awhile, but I had to go buy some for my 12-year-old son for basketball a few months ago. Because it was for him the box was labled small. But I also got a look from Mr. Pimple-faced-double-earring-tattoo-boy behind the counter -- it was a 'Yeah, I bet they are for your son' look. I once again felt like a doofus."

And finally, because we always make room for nice e-mails, this from ERW -- which I think means Newark Airport -- who is a big fan of the Flem File: "I just finished reading your story, Jock Strapped. Normally, I skip the editorials and head for last night's scores on the ESPN site. But your story had me laughing ridiculously this morning. How can someone have a tale to tell about jock straps? That's funny! Keep it up."

He meant the funny columns, you sickos.

David Fleming, a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine, shares his off-center perspective each week. E-mail

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