From the home office in Bristol, Conn., the weekly Top 20 List...

20. A Soapbox Moment
OK, we want the name and employee number of the advertising knucklehead who approved the Advair spot during Friday night's Northwestern-UNLV game -- and we want it now. This is going in the kook's permanent file.

Advair is a drug that helps treat asthma, which is fine except that Northwestern still has burn marks on its heart from the recent death of senior defensive back Rashidi Wheeler. From an asthma-related condition. See what we're getting at?

The last thing anyone connected with the Wheeler or Northwestern family needed to see during the TV broadcast was an pharmaceutical ad that said, "Life should take your breath away, not asthma."

19. Miami 61, Rutgers 0
Just think if the Hurricanes didn't like Greg Schiano, the former Miami defensive coordinator in his first season as Rutgers' head coach.

18. " 'Meg, from Fairfield, You're on the Air."
In a rare Larry King imitation (though, no suspenders), we'd like to plug, "A War in Dixie," which takes you deep inside the 24-7-365 rivalry that is Alabama vs. Auburn.

This is the same rivalry where a Tiger richy-rich alum once told us, "I'd rather my daughter be a prostitute (he didn't exactly use that word) at Auburn, than be a student at Bama."

Co-authors Ivan Maisel, who had complete access to the Crimson Tide program, and Kelly Whiteside, who was treated like family at Auburn, detail the rivalry's psychotic history and better yet, take you through the 2000 game, day by day.

Think, Feinstein does the South.

17. Aloha, from Maui
If nothing else, Hawaii coach June Jones isn't afraid to take chances. He runs the run-and-shoot (his first five scripted calls against Division I-AA power Montana Saturday night were pass plays), he took a chance on Aussie Mat McBriar (Jones says in a couple of years he could be the first punter to be taken in the NFL first round since Ray Guy), and he moved the Warriors' season opener from Honolulu to Wailuku, Maui and dinky War Memorial Stadium (Capacity roughly 15,500). It was Jones' way of trying to make the program more accessible for the fans on the outer islands.

So worried were UH officials about the condition of the field, that turf guru George Toma was brought in to save the day. Toma has prepared 35 Super Bowl fields for play, but we're guessing this is the first time his work crew included inmates from the Maui Community Correctional Center.

The whole thing had the feel of a high school jamboree, but you couldn't beat the view of Maui's north shore.

16. Coach of the Week
Randy Walker, Northwestern.
The memory of Wheeler's Aug. 3 death still fresh on his team's mind. A two-time zone road game. UNLV quarterback Jason Thomas on the other sideline. A late season opener for the Wildcats. An emotional pregame moment of silence for their departed friend.

Northwestern 37, UNLV 28.

Game ball for Walker.

Runner-up: Pat Hill, Fresno State.

15. Nebraska Home Field Advantage
Here's two reasons why the Children of the Corn have the best fans in college football: win or lose, they give a standing O to the visiting team at game's end. . . and they don't sell their tickets to the out-of-towners.

Last season, when Nebraska traveled to South Bend, greedy Notre Dame fans happily sold their tickets to the Husker followers. The result: at least a quarter of the 80,000-seat Notre Dame Stadium, if not a third was NU red.

14. Quote of the Week
"We can't afford to lose. If we do, we'll fall right off the radar screen."
-- Fresno State coach Pat Hill, before Saturday's game at Wisconsin.

Trust us, Pat, there's plenty of room on the screen for your Bulldogs. With the 3-0 start and the latest win at Wisconsin, Fresno is no-brainer top 25 material. The roster talent is impressive, the coaching first-rate and we like any program (Are you paying attention, Kansas State?) that takes scheduling chances.

By season's end, Fresno State will have played non-conference games at Colorado, Oregon State, at Wisconsin and at Colorado State -- and it tried scheduling Southern California, but Trojans athletic director Mike Garrett wouldn't bite. Counting all its road games, the Bulldogs will log more than 20,000 travel miles.

13. Quote of the Week -- Part II
"How much do I think it's going to be affected? I really don't."
-- Robert Beskow, Las Vegas High School athletic director, on the effect of Friday night NCAA football on prep game attendance.

Amen to that.

Beskow's comments to USA Today carry some weight because Vegas High is located near UNLV's Sam Boyd Stadium, site of Friday night's Rebels-Northwestern game. And here's guessing that when the Clark County School District is done tallying up the local high school gate receipts this week and next, the numbers won't suffer.

In all, there will be seven Division I-A games played on Friday night this season.

12. You Have the Right To Remain Silent. . .
You can send the black wreaths to Tuscaloosa, where Alabama AD Mal Moore is probably chugging Pepto Bismol by the gallon. Bama just got its letter from the NCAA, which isn't exactly like hearing from the Publisher's Clearinghouse.

NCAA investigators say the Crimson Tide program is guilty of buying players, academic fraud and throwing parties with strippers. And those are just the biggies. Before the charges were divulged (which came during the Mike DuBose and Gene Stalling eras), there was speculation among Bama insiders that the program might avoid the heavy stuff. But if the charges stick -- and Bama will fight some of the allegations -- new coach Dennis Franchione is in for a long year. Or two. Or three. It all depends on the severity of the sanctions, which could range from scholarship losses, to TV and bowl bans, to revenue penalties.

Now you know why Bama struggled against Vandy and why Butch Davis and Frank Beamer weren't interested in taking over the mess in Tuscaloosa.

11. You Make the Call
Who has the funkier throwing motion: UNLV's Jason Thomas or North Carolina State's Philip Rivers? Just think how good Thomas would be if he threw a spiral. That said, we wouldn't want to play either one of them.

10. The Kids Are Alright
It's early, but life after Lee Suggs might work out fine for Virginia Tech.

Suggs is lost for the season because of knee surgery, but his replacements, junior Keith Burnell and true freshman Kevin Jones, are adjusting nicely to the added carries. In the win against Western Michigan, offensive coordinator Ricky Bustle went heavy on the run. All together, the Hokies had 58 rushes for 271 yards and 3 touchdowns.

9. Subtraction Through Addition
We're sure it's just us, but why do you boot Temple out of the Big East Conference just as the Owls are getting decent?

Connecticut will replace Temple in the league beginning in 2005. So do you think the Owls will be a little pumped when they play UConn Saturday?

8. Anchors Aweigh
Navy coach Charlie Weatherbie must have been hit in the head with a yardarm during the offseason. Weatherbie is the guy who said, "We're excited about the upcoming season."

Ask him now. Navy is 0-2 and, after suffering through a 70-7 drubbing to Georgia Tech -- the worst loss in school history -- has given up 115 points. TCU gave up 106 points in 11 regular season games last year.

It gets worse for the Midshipmen. They face scoring machine Northwestern in the Wildcats home opener this Saturday.

7. Best Rumor
Hawaii, tired of getting stiffed by non-conference schools on the mainland (Texas and Iowa State have canceled their games with the Warriors in recent seasons), is toying with the idea of leaving the WAC and becoming an independent.

6. Heisman Trophy Race
Bring a coat and tie to the Downtown Athletic Club: UCLA's DeShaun Foster, Miami's Ken Dorsey.
Moving up: Georgia Tech's George Godsey, Florida's Rex Grossman, North Carolina State's Philip Rivers, UNLV's Jason Thomas, Fresno State's David Carr, Oregon's Joey Harrington, Wisconsin's Anthony Davis.
Staying same: Northwestern's Damien Anderson, Clemson's Woodrow Dantzler, Oregon State's Ken Simonton.
Slipping fast: Texas' Chris Simms.
Thanks for stopping by the booth: No victims.

5. From the Heart
If there was a ranking for heartfelt moments, Texas just cracked the top 10. Rather than kick a meaningless extra point in a blowout win against North Carolina, Texas players convinced Longhorns coach Mack Brown to sit on the ball. The non-kick kept the score, 44-14.

Why 44? That was the jersey number of sophomore defensive tackle Cole Pittman, who was killed in a one-car car accident shortly before spring practice started.

4. Second Guessing
Still can't believe that a team with Mr. Student Body Right as a coach -- UNLV's John Robinson -- called a pass on fourth-and-inches from the goal-line with the game in the balance against Northwestern.

No touchdown. No win.

3. Whatever Happened To. . .
Indiana's Antwaan Randle-El.

Hey, little fella, we miss you. Come back to quarterback full time.

2. Mark Your Calendar
There are five Games of the Year this week:

Georgia Tech at Florida State
Look for the Yellow Jackets to do what Duke and UAB did to new FSU quarterback Chris Rix: stick eight in the box and dare him to throw. This one is probably for the ACC championship and a BCS berth.

Penn State at Virginia
JoePa tries to tie the record for all-time victories. Again. Virginia is no gimme, but if the Nittany Lions don't do it this week they could be in for a long wait.

Tennessee at Florida
As intense as it gets.

Auburn at LSU
Would get top SEC billing if not for the Vols-Gators.

Washington at Miami
The first of three opponents who could kill Miami's chances for a national championship appearance.

One Hack's Weekly Elite
1. Miami (2-0), 2. Oklahoma (3-0), 3. UCLA (2-0), 4. Florida (2-0), 5. Fresno State (3-0), 6. Nebraska (3-0), 7. Virginia Tech (2-0), 8. Oregon (2-0), 9. Florida State (2-0), 10. Tennessee (2-0).
Waiting list: Georgia Tech (3-0), Texas (2-0), Georgia Tech (3-0), Clemson (2-0), Toledo (2-0), Washington (1-0).

Gene Wojciechowski is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. Movers and Shakers appears each Monday. E-mail him at gene.wojciechowski@espnmag.com.