20. A Soapbox Moment
BYU is 8-0, ranked in the top 10 of the USA Today/ESPN coaches poll, but couldn't get a sniff in last week's BCS standings? Time to stick a virus in those BCS computer programs and start over, right?

Uh, no.

The truth is BYU is getting the same BCS treatment as Miami -- and the Hurricanes have more to complain about than the Cougars these days. We've got three words for BYU: strength of schedule. The Cougars don't have it, Miami will.

"We just happen to have a great team with a non-conference schedule that wasn't that good," says BYU athletic director Val Hale.

Hale did what he could. He had a road game at SEC West-favorite Mississippi State and a trip to Pac-10 member Cal. And he added Tulane and a road trip to Hawaii at the last minute to go along with a game against Nevada. But since then almost all of those non-conference opponents have gone in the tank and it doesn't help that his Mountain West Conference is mostly AWOL this season. Result: the Cougars take it in the BCS shorts.

"I understand why it's set up the way it is," Hale says. "I understand the politics of it all. But I still wish there was a way to reward a team with a great year. I'm the first to admit our schedule isn't as strong as some others. But we happen to have a fantastic team and it's too bad because of the timing and circumstances that we may not have a chance to show how good we are."

Hale knows that the BCS snub isn't personal. He's smart enough to see the financial writing on the wall: the BCS was devised to put No. 1 vs. No. 2, but it also was weighted in favor of the founding fathers -- the SEC, ACC, Big East, Big 12, Pac-10, Big Ten and Notre Dame (if it qualified). Meanwhile, the Mountain Wests of the world were stuck in a middle seat in coach.

But here's the thing: If the BCS can stick it to Miami, it can stick it to anybody. BYU has that unbeaten record and a good chance at 13-0, but what the Cougars really need is next season's non-conference schedule, when they play the likes of Syracuse and Georgia Tech. Or better yet, they need the 2003 lineup, when they face USC, Notre Dame, Georgia Tech, Stanford and Boise State.

"We don't want to start talking about the BCS yet because we're only halfway through things," says Hale, a realist if there ever was one. "If we start talking about the BCS we'll end up like Fresno State. We'll end up getting beat by somebody."

19. BYU Playoff Fever
Here's a shocker: Hale wants a Division I-A playoff. And I'd like Kristin Davis to give me a private tour of an art gallery, but it ain't going to happen.

The BCS is here to stay at least through the 2006 bowl games. That's when the contract expires and unless the power-broker college presidents and conference commissioners find playoff religion, we're probably looking at another BCS extension.

Hale trots out the usual list of playoff advantages: College football needs to determine a true national champion on the field. . . It's getting harder and harder for ADs to schedule compelling intraconference games. . . A one-loss team usually gets aced out of the BCS short list (we didn't mention the 1998 or 2000 Florida State teams to him). . . It's harder to get home-and-home scheduling arrangements. . . There's lots of money to made with a D-IA playoff.

"The question would be if the BCS-member conferences would be willing to share the wealth a little bit?" Hale says.

Sure they would. They'll do that just after Kristin explains the difference between Kandinsky's Expressionism and Matisse's Fauvism.

"I hold out hope that eventually common sense will prevail," Hale says.

We're with you, buddy, but don't hold your breath. The presidents don't want to lengthen the season, are concerned about missed class time and are worried about the physical effects of adding playoff games -- all legitimate questions. But Hale would like to remind everyone that BYU is playing 13 games this season. . . 14, if you add the postseason bowl game. And by his count, BYU football players miss six half-days of class on Fridays compared to the 40 days of missed class time by BYU's baseball players.

Will his arguments matter? Nope.

18. Tar Heel Tough
Sounds strange, but North Carolina is on a five-game winning streak and ranked for the first time since 1998 because it got whooped twice this season.

Last February new coach John Bunting was asked by Carolina officials if he wanted to add a 12th game -- something called the Hispanic College Fund Classic in late August -- to the Tar Heels' schedule. Carolina would get an early start on practice, some swell national exposure and a little walking-around money for the program's pockets.

And, oh, by the way, Bunting's team would have to play defending national champion Oklahoma. . . at Oklahoma.

Bunting didn't blink. He wanted the game, but first he wanted to run it by the team's seniors. Bunting sold the game as an opportunity, a learning experience, a chance to build up some character equity for later in the season. So the seniors signed off on the gig, Carolina got waxed by the Sooners, were stunned by Maryland (who knew?), then were beaten by 30 at Texas -- another non-conference bigfoot on the Tar Heels' schedule.

So what happens? After an 0-3 start, Carolina peels off five consecutive wins as if they were $1 bills for the kid working the valet car lot. Have to face ACC king Florida State? No problem: Carolina 41, FSU 9. Gut out a little 17-9 win against nearby N.C. State? Can do. Beat hyped-up East Carolina in their first meeting since 1980? No problem. Defeat Virginia? Of course. Hand Clemson one of its worst losses in years, and do it at Death Valley? Is a 38-3 win any good?

Ask Bunting to explain Carolina's turnaround and he always includes those two non-conference games -- Oklahoma and Texas -- in the answer. Bunting likes non-conference schedules that have a little meat on the bone, which is nice since the Tar Heels' future opponents list is loaded. Next year's non-conference list: at Syracuse, Texas, Miami of Ohio and at Arizona State.

17. Tennessee Stud
It wasn't an accident that Tennessee loaded up on running back recruits during the offseason. Not only did the Vols sign Parade All-American Jabari Davis out of Georgia, but they also broke Arkansas' heart by getting Cedric Houston. They also stuck it to Georgia again by signing Derrick Tinsley of Marietta.

Redshirt senior Travis Stephens would be the starter, but there would be opportunities galore for the three true freshmen to make an impact.

Stephens apparently didn't get the memo. Tennessee coaches knew Stephens had the obvious edge in experience, in pass blocking expertise, in knowing the Vols' offense. But what they didn't know is if his 5-9, 190-pound body could handle the punishment of 20 or so carries per game.

Guess what? Stephens breezed by the 20-carry threshold and entered Saturday's game against South Carolina as the nation's leader in rushes per game (30.4). He had 41 carries in a win against Arkansas earlier in the season.

Stephens is also the third-leading per-game rusher in the country. No. 1 Larry Ned of San Diego State is averaging 146 ypg with Boston College's William Green second at 145.5 and there's Stephens with 145. He had 28 carries for 120 yards and two touchdowns against the Gamecocks.

Though it was discussed by Tennessee coaches, none of the three true freshmen took a redshirt year. Instead, Tinsley and Houston are playing on special teams and the bigger Davis has seen occasional playing time at fullback.

"But I think now with us having five games left -- and if we're going to do what we want to do, which is get into the [SEC] Championship Game -- Travis is going to have to have some help," says UT running backs coach Woody McCorvey. "Now with the young guys being in some games. . . those guys have gotten some experience."

16. Co-Players of the Week
Eric Crouch, Nebraska.
Don't be fooled by the somewhat modest numbers by Crouch in the crucial win against Oklahoma (102 passing yards, 21 rushing yards). Whatever you gain against the Sooners, multiply by two, maybe 2½.

Crouch did what he was supposed to do, what he had to do to beat one of the best defenses in years. He threw well enough to keep OU honest. He ran well enough to provide some key first downs. And he caught well enough to score on a 63-yard touchdown.

Onterrio Smith, Oregon.
The transfer from Tennessee had a school-record 285 yards in the crucial win against Washington State at Pullman.

Runner-up: Hawaii wide receiver Ashley Lelie.
Unless you check out the weekly NCAA stats, you'd never know Lelie is among the nation's leaders in receptions per game and reception yardage per game. He had nine catches for 122 yards and three touchdowns, including the game-winner, in Friday night's upset of late, great Fresno State.

Honorable mention: Zack Mills, Penn State.
The Penn State redshirt freshman quarterback replaced Matt Senneca and finished with 280 passing yards, 138 rushing yards and three touchdowns.

Michigan's Marquise Walker.
His one-handed touchdown catch in the win against Iowa was sweet enough for its own candy wrapper.

Arkansas' Matt Jones.
The true freshman quarterback, who also doubles as a Razorback wide receiver, replaced Zak Clark and rushed for 99 yards and a TD and completed his one of three passes for another score in the convincing 42-17 upset of Auburn. Arkansas coaches issued oversized wristbands that contained formations and plays from the Razorback playbook. Jones' play list was different and presumably less complicated, but it didn't matter.

15. Coach of the Week
Joe Paterno, Penn State.
We owe the big guy an apology. After losing its first four games we didn't know if Penn State would ever get a victory this season, especially with one of the least productive offenses in the country. Instead, the Nittany Lions overcome five Northwestern leads to beat the Wildcats at Evanston Oct. 20 -- and give JoePa his 323rd career win -- and then overcome a 27-9 Ohio State lead to beat the Buckeyes Saturday for Paterno's record-setting 324th victory. Paterno got a Gatorade shower, a shoulder ride to midfield and a postgame ceremony that brought tears to his eyes.

"I'm glad it's over," he said later.

So are we. You can only take so much of ESPN's Todd Christensen gushing about the SIGNIFICANCE of it all, or his quoting of the poet Robert Frost and the Dutch scholar Erasmus in a painful 2-minute span.

Paterno won his first game in 1966, a 15-7 victory against Lou Saban's Maryland team. Saban stiffed him on the postgame handshake, but called two days later to apologize for the slight. Saban told Paterno he didn't have the heart to tell him how poorly both teams played. "True story," said Paterno Saturday.

Incredibly enough, Penn State could still qualify for a bowl game if it wins four of its last five games (Southern Miss, at Illinois, Indiana, at Michigan State, at Virginia).

"I'll tell you," Paterno said to the Beaver Stadium crowd, "they're going to be one heck of a football team when all is said and done."

Runner-up: Paul Pasqualoni, Syracuse.
If Saturday's upset of Virginia Tech doesn't end the pink slip rumors, nothing ever will. After an 0-2 start, the Orangemen have won seven consecutive games and now are eligible for a bowl appearance. This latest win is especially sweet for Pasqualoni, what with Tech beating Syracuse by a combined 84-14 in the previous two meetings. How sweet was the victory? As Hokie fans left Lane Stadium late in the game, several Syracuse players turned and waved goodbye to the crowd. It was Pasqualoni's first-ever win at Tech.

Honorable mention: Florida State's Bobby Bowden (Pop Warner is getting whiplash as Paterno and Bowden -- 320 victories -- pass him on the all-time win list.). Nebraska's Frank Solich (The humble Solich called a near-perfect game against OU's elite defense). Stanford's Tyrone Willingham (Picture of calm as Cardinal almost blew big lead against UCLA).

14. Rumor of the Week
Way back in early August at the SEC media meetings in Birmingham, Jackie Sherrill discussed the fine line between rebuilding and reloading. His Mississippi State team had finished 8-4 a season earlier, were favorites to win the SEC West, returned nine offensive starters, but only had five returning defensive starters.

"The biggest thing is you don't fall off the cliff," Sherrill said.

At 1-5 and perhaps college football's biggest bust this season, Sherrill's team has done a Wile E. Coyote-like plunge off the football cliff and still has to play Kentucky, at Alabama, at Arkansas, Mississippi and BYU. That sure has a 3-8 feel to it, which is why Sherrill supposedly will jettison one or more assistant coaches at season's end.

Runner-up Rumor: South Carolina defensive coordinator Charlie Strong is going to get his share of head coaching job interviews at season's end.

13. Just a Suggestion
We've said it before, we'll say it again. . . we'd say it even if he didn't wear an ESPN blazer every Saturday: For the love all things football holy, when will some smart D-IA athletic director call Mike Gottfried for a head coaching job?

Spend 10 minutes with the guy and just through osmosis you learn more about the game than you thought possible. Gottfried has experience, perspective, recruiting contacts out the wazoo and a feel for putting together a staff. Plus, he can get you Ron Franklin's autograph.

Yeah, OK, we've got a soft spot for Gottfried, but only because as good as he is in the booth, he'd be 10 times better on a sideline.

12. Stat of the Week
Northwestern tailback Damien Anderson has had one of those inexplicable seasons, going from Heisman tri-favorite to non-factor.

Anderson averaged 171.9 rushing yards last season compared to 100.1 this season. He had seven 100-yard rushing games in Big Ten play a year ago. He has zero through five conference games in 2001.

11. Quote of the Week
"I guarantee you something: We're going to win the next five games. That's all I'm going to say. So you write it anyway you want. You can describe it anyway you want to, but there's going to be some changes, and we're going to get it done."
-- Fresno State coach Pat Hill after his then-19th-ranked team lost at Hawaii, 38-34.

You know it isn't going to be your day when. . .

The police escort doesn't show and your charter bus has to fight its way through Honolulu's Friday afternoon traffic to get to Aloha Stadium.

A stadium attendant tries to charge you for parking.

You go Republican in the third quarter, choosing to mostly run the ball rather than let Heisman candidate David Carr add to a 14-point lead. (It was the second consecutive week that Hill had gone conservative during a portion of the game and like the Oct. 19 loss to Boise State, it cost him.)

You watch as Hawaii safety Nate Jackson (the toughest D-IA player we've ever seen) comes off the bench and later strips Carr of the ball on a blitz. The Warriors recover with 3:09 remaining, drive 66 yards and win the game on a fade pass to the best receiver you've never heard of, Ashley Lelie. By the way, Jackson didn't practice almost the entire week because of a motorcycle accident four days earlier that required two layers of stitches on his shin. "When I put on this jersey, there's no pain," he told reporters after the win. He isn't kidding. Last season Jackson played with a fractured foot and each week voluntarily endured two pain-killing shots before the game and during halftime.

You get beat by a Hawaii quarterback, Nick Rolovich, who would have redshirted had starter Timmy Chang not injured his wrist weeks ago. Worse yet, Rolovich beats you while playing with a dislocated left (non-throwing) shoulder.

Your man Carr completes 28 of 45 passes for a career-high 400 yards and 4 touchdowns (but two fumbles). . . and you still lose.

10. Fresno State Meltdown -- Part II
So Hill ranted a bit after the game, guaranteeing wins against Rice, at SMU, at Nevada, San Jose State and Utah State. But even with an 11-2 record, it won't be anywhere near enough for a BCS bowl or, depending on how things shake out in the conference, an appearance in the Silicon Valley Classic, the Humanitarian Bowl, or an at-large bid.

Meanwhile, surging Hawaii (5-2, 4-2) has won five consecutive games and its five remaining games (San Jose State, Boise State, Miami of Ohio, Air Force and BYU) are all at Aloha Stadium.

9. From Silver and Black to Blue and Gold
Jon Gruden isn't exactly laying low when it comes to the possibility of becoming the next Notre Dame coach. Of course, he needs two things to happen first: Bob Davie to become the ex-Notre Dame coach, and an actual job offer from the Irish.

In interviews with the NFL.com and the South Bend Tribune, Gruden did everything but recite Knute Rockne when asked about Notre Dame. Can't say that we blame him. His dad, Jim, is a former running backs coach for Dan Devine. Gruden himself played at South Bend's Clay High School. And there is a certain yesteryear charm to his memories of growing up surrounded by all things ND.

"To see that marching band walking across campus at 8 a.m., to look up and see Touchdown Jesus and the Golden Dome, to feel Rockne's ghost -- the best word I can use to describe it is chilling. Every time I see Notre Dame on TV it gives me goose bumps," Gruden told NFL.com.

With this latest loss to Boston College (ND is now 3-4) and a game against Tennessee next Saturday, the sight of the Davie and the Irish give some Notre Dame followers the heebie-jeebies. So what gives? Is Gruden, 38, simply waxing poetic? Is he truly interested in bolting the Death Star for South Bend? Is he using it for financial leverage?

To be fair, Gruden isn't lobbying for the job, but he has made it clear how fond he is of the place. He says the Raiders are his No. 1 football priority, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't get goose bumps if Notre Dame officials called at season's end.

Of course, be careful what you wish for. At the Oct. 20 USC game, Notre Dame Stadium ushers asked several fans to turn their T-shirts inside out. Reason? The T-shirts read, "Dump Davie." The ushers thought the two-word message violated university code regarding offensive language on T-shirts.

8. A Half-Cocked Protest
The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has abandoned its campaign to rid South Carolina of its school mascot Cocky the Gamecock. PETA wanted Cocky replaced because of some sort of imagined endorsement of gamecock-fighting by the school.

"It's a safe bet that officials at the University of South Carolina would never dream of calling their athletic teams the Dogfighters, the Wifebeaters, the Looters or the Road-Ragers," said a PETA spokesperson to the Columbia State.

Road-Ragers has a certain ring to it, especially if you could get He Hate Me to coach the team. Anyway, the protesters high-tailed it after school president John Palms said the Gamecock would outlive him and PETA.

7. Short-shots and Longshots
Back in August USA Today sports analyst Danny Sheridan gave his odds for winning the national championship. His favorite, Florida, was a 5-1 shot. Oregon was a 1,000-1 shot. Money well spent: Miami -- 8-1, Nebraska -- 15-1.

Money not well spent: Florida State -- 7-1, LSU -- 25-1, Northwestern -- 50-1.

6. Comeback of the Year
The Miami Hurricanes.

Thanks to Black Saturday, the Hurricanes' chances of working its way into the BCS Championship got a major vitamin shot. Miami didn't do a thing Saturday and it still moved up the BCS short list.

Hurricanes coach Larry Coker said weeks ago that he wasn't worried about the late-October computer standings. Too many games left to be played, too many BCS results yet to be calculated. He was right. In a day's time, five of the top 10 teams in the initial BCS standings (No. 1 Oklahoma, No. 3 UCLA, No. 5 Virginia Tech, No. 8 Maryland, No. 10 Washington State -- all of them undefeated) were beaten.

5. Pancake Stack
How good is Nebraska's Toniu Fonoti, the 19-year-old junior guard? He leads the Cornhuskers with 141 pancake blocks, which is offensive line-ese for what happens when you flatten a defender. The next closest Husker has Dave Volk has 86.

The 365-pound Fonoti had 13 pancakes against the Sooners.

4. Upon Further Review
OK, enough's enough. It's time for the NCAA to lighten up and adjust the celebration rule. There's a difference between taunting and expressing joy. Nebraska got called for one Saturday and the whole thing seemed so silly. Huge game. Huge post-touchdown hug festival. Why get anal about a couple extra back slaps?

Instead, the Huskers had to kick a 35-yard extra point. The same thing happened late in the UCLA-Stanford game. The Bruins cut the lead to four points, but an innocent post-TD pose by senior tight end Bryan Fletcher forced another 35-yard extra point.

3. Heisman Trophy Race
Bring a coat and tie to the Downtown Athletic Club: Miami's Ken Dorsey, Nebraska's Eric Crouch, Boston College's William Green, Tennessee's Travis Stephens.
Moving up: Florida's Rex Grossman, Fresno State's David Carr, Michigan's Marquise Walker, Texas' Chris Simms.
Staying same: Clemson's Woodrow Dantzler, Illinois' Kurt Kittner.
Slipping: UCLA's DeShaun Foster, Oregon's Joey Harrington.
Thanks for stopping by the booth: No victims.

2. Whatever Happened To. . .
. . . UCLA's defense?

Entering Saturday's game against Stanford, Phil Snow's defense hadn't given up more than 17 points in six previous games. But the Cardinal already had 28 points and 353 total yards by halftime, and added 10 more points in the second half.

One Hack's Weekly Elite
Honorary No. 1: Royal Marine commandos.
1. Nebraska: Wins first round on points. OU-NU meet again Dec. 1?
2. Miami: Beats W. Va. on Thursday, moves up BCS ladder on Saturday.
3. Oklahoma: Sooners hurting at quarterback, but best of 1-loss teams.
4. Texas: Simms surging, so are Longhorns since loss to OU.
5. Florida: UF gets breather vs. Vandy, then begins tough 3-game stretch.
6. Stanford: No letdown for Cardinal. Beat Ducks, then Bruins.
7. Oregon: Ducks have quacked themselves back into Pac-10 race.
8. Michigan: Wolverines suddenly back in BCS mix.
9. Tennessee: One-loss Vols still have nightmares about Georgia game.
10. BYU: An 8-0 record has to count for something.
Waiting list: Syracuse, Illinois, UCLA, Washington State, Florida State.

Gene Wojciechowski is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. Movers and Shakers appears each Sunday during the college football season. E-mail him at gene.wojciechowski@espnmag.com.