There's really no way to stop War Emblem on the track -- yell all you want, but there ain't no dee-fense in horse racing.

So we went to Hollywood and consulted with a well-known animal wrangler, who gets paid big bucks to stop animals in their tracks without hurting them.

How to stop War Emblem, step by step
(DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!)

Step 1*: Soften up the ground. It makes the fall safer for both the horse and rider. (Note: Wear old clothes.)

	Call me, we'll do some oats.

Step 2: Never try more than three falls a day. You don't want the horse getting sore at you.

Step 3: Get on top of the horse. Give him a carrot, so he knows you're about to embark on a trick. (Note: This may also work for you in a personal relationship.)

Step 4: Once in motion, take the reins and turn the horse's head sharply in a previously agreed-upon direction. This is the signal to begin the fall.

Step 5: After turning its head, the horse will turn its shoulder up, in the direction of its head (Note: Trust, but verify). This twists its body sideways and gets the horse in position to land safely.

Step 6: The front legs come out from underneath it. The back legs follow suit. You're flying now!

Step 7: Keep your eyes up, never looking at the ground. If you're looking down, you won't let yourself get thrown fairly, which can result in injury.

Step 8: Let go of the reins, allowing yourself to be thrown. Remember where the soft ground is? Get the horse to throw you thataway.

Step 9: The horse lands on the soft ground, letting its side and shoulder absorb the blow easily. You, however, have landed on concrete. Ouch!

Step 10: When you're ready for the horse to get back up again, cue him to rise with a kiss. That'll let him know. Then give him another carrot for a job well done. (Note: You may find practical ways to use this trick in your day-to-day life too. Don't bother to thank us.)

Our wrangler pal told us that the old-school Western-movie trick (a bunch of horses trip all over each other) doesn't happen anymore. For the record -- DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME EITHER! -- it was done by stretching out a dusty canvas over a designated area. The horses would ride onto the canvas and the key grips and gaffers and best boys or whatever would pull it out from under them, causing a mass pileup.

Hard to believe anyone had a problem with this method. A lot of the horses actually enjoyed doing it. Very often they'd get so into it, they'd do it on their own without even being cued!

*Of course, for this to actually stop War Emblem, you'd need to spend three months with an accredited trainer teaching the horse to fall. You'd also need to be the jockey, and you're too tall.

Can War Emblem be stopped Saturday? Tell us how at pulse@espnmag.com.