Some of the best educated guessers in the college football business say Nebraska's spot in the Rose Bowl was clinched last Friday night, when TCU -- a 'Husker opponent -- beat Southern Miss in a rescheduled game attended by about 37 people, not counting the 132 student trainers lining both sidelines.

Who could argue with a system as foolproof as that?

After all, Oregon didn't impress the BCS computer, so there goes the Ducks' argument. They should look at it as an opportunity, something upon which to build in the offseason. They could turn it in their favor, use it for motivation, make up a slogan and slap it on T-shirts to wear during those summer workouts.

(They might want to enlist the services of George O'Leary, whose creativity is currently in need of an outlet. By the way, if you're going to "exaggerate" or put forth "inaccuracies," why not go big? Take the Tim Johnson route and credit yourself for taking out whole battalions of Viet Cong, or the Berlin Wall? An internet poll of resume-padders revealed, by 72 to 28 percent, that lettering at New Hampshire just isn't a good enough pad to cost you the Notre Dame job.)

But, to get back on point, lay off the BCS. It's a good system, for both the winners and the losers. It's thorough, convincing and definitive. Think of it this way: If they had a playoff system, everyone would just be complaining about the officiating instead.

It's easy to be snide, sarcastic and cynical, but it takes a special person to rise above the mud and point out the beauty of the system.

Besides, next time you want to deride the BCS, remember this: Computers have feelings, too.

This Week's List

Word in the industry is that the folks at Frontline are royally pissed that HBO beat them to this one: Inside the NFL this week tackled the troubling issue of what happens when football players have to use the bathroom during a game.

For once, someone gets some decent information from a sideline reporter and the next thing you know lawyers are involved: The Bears say Pam Oliver and Mike Adamle were illegally eavesdropping when they reported a spat between Bear defenders and the team's offensive coordinator.

If you can look at it dispassionately, you have to admire the audacity while acknowledging the stupidity: Nate Newton, allegedly caught with 175 more pounds of marijuana.

As we speak, the folks at the Guinness book are calling Tommy Chong to tell him his record has been broken: If you're scoring at home, Nate has allegedly been caught with 388 pounds in the past six weeks.

Jason Meets the N.Y. Media Beast, Part I: 1) Headline in Friday NY Post: "Born to be a Yankee"; 2) the lead in the Post's main story included the following sentence -- "Judging by his first words after putting on a Yankee jersey yesterday and the water that filled his electric eyes, color him sincere"; 3) headline in NY Daily News: "Matinee Idol."

The way Dan Duquette sees it, if he can find five guys to go 9-15, then Pedro only has to be 32-1 for the East to be theirs: The Red Sox have reportedly shown interest in free-agent pitchers John Burkett, Terry Adams, Dave Burba, Ron Villone and Albie Lopez.

Words that have been rendered worthless: "Several major developments to report this hour ..."

Next time an athlete claims to be misquoted or taken out of context, remember how they treat their own: Jerome Bettis was quoted as saying Takeo Spikes is as good as Ray Lewis, and Ray Lewis comes back with, "Jerome saying Takeo Spikes is better than me? Let's go find out."

One thing upon which we can all agree: For Takeo Spikes, the compliment just wasn't worth the trouble.

Of course, this might just be me, but: If I'm looking for a target for my unique brand of trash talk, Ray Lewis is pretty far down the list.

So, judging by this, the Nuggets are planning to widen roadways, put more cops on the street and increase medical-care benefits for the children of low-wage workers: Commenting on the response of the Hispanic community to Dan Issel's outburst, a Nugget PR guy said, "Right now our aim is to meet with leaders of the Hispanic community and see how we can reach out and make this a better city."

It reminds me of the time I got fired from my busboy job at a fancy French restaurant for pouring a fly out of a bottle of champagne and my dad sued the joint for depriving me of a career as a famous television chef: The father of a sophomore basketball player in Union City, Ca., sued the school district for $1.5 million in lost future earnings because his son was cut from the varsity basketball team.

Just for the heck of it: I.M. Hipp.

Sources say the guy's name is Donnn Nelson, son of Donn, grandson of Don: Mark Cuban revealed this week that he has hired a statistics expert -- "I pay him a lot of money" -- whose sole job is to track refereeing trends in Maverick games.

In an effort to find even more creative ways to lose: Carl Everett, Texas Ranger.

If you look ahead you can see Jerome Bettis, in January, on his home field, churning up pieces of snow-slush turf on his way to the secondary: The Raiders, owners of the most complete offense in the AFC, have allowed 973 rushing yards in the last five games.

Apparently ELO wouldn't part with the rights to Livin' Thing: Every year we're treated to a catchy holiday song by somebody whose main interest is selling you either blue jeans or a 112-piece pocket wrench set, but who would have thought Supertramp would figure so prominently in our holiday cheer?

And finally, if you sense the onset of a weepy Sunday night movie-of-the-week, you're not alone: The same day big brother Jason Giambi signed a $120 million contract, Jeremy was being cited for stashing a baggie of pot in his carry-on at the Las Vegas airport.

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at tim.keown@espnmag.com.