Disrespect can’t get no respect.

It’s true, and you know it. You’ve been thinking the same thing. The idea of disrespect has been so overused and diluted that it doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s gotten to the point where nobody’s getting dissed like dis its own self.

It’s time for someone to speak up in defense of good, solid, All-American disrespect.

We’ve learned to shrug and roll our eyes when a double-digit underdog cries disrespect. It’s motivation, and we can handle that. Us against the world -- we know the drill.

But the Rams? Now we’re straining the bounds of credulity. The Rams are saying they’re being disrespected, apparently because everyone thinks they’re going to win the Super Bowl.

Someone (Merril Hoge) had the audacity to suggest that running the ball up the middle against the Rams might be a better strategy than, say, lining up against them with a defense of eight linemen, two linebackers and Gary Coleman as the lone DB.

Apparently Mike Martz would like his team to believe it is not only without weakness but beyond questioning. It’s like a double firewall.

But when the Rams cry disrespect, it takes away from our legitimate targets of disrespect. Such as, just for instance, the travesty of instant replay. (Granted, this is not a seamless transition, but some topics require more than a line of copy for full dissemination.)

Instant replay, as exhibited in the Raiders-Pats debacle, is a lie. It sets up the illusion of certainty without acknowledging that certainty doesn’t exist. We know this, but the league persists with the certainty myth nonetheless.

Any self-respecting Raiders fan will tell you it’s a lot easier to chalk up a loss to human error than electronic deception. It’s understandable that an official, standing in six inches of snow, his nose ‘bout froze off, can make a bad call because he just couldn’t see the damn play.

But to know he made the right call, and then someone else overturned it based on the institutional illusion of certainty, is worse than no illusion at all.

This Week’s List:

You know who’s getting no respect, don’t you?: Mike Tyson’s getting no respect.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got my money on Krlinkly to take Brarrarat in straight sets: Men’s tennis, really on the upswing.

Now that Michael Jordan is proving he can still score 24 a game without the vaunted verticality: Does that mean we’re about to experience a renaissance of good old-fashioned horizontality?

Four quarterbacks left, four stars: Too bad, too, because it always livens up a conference title game to have a stray Dieter Brock or Jay Schroeder standing back there like a possum surveying an oncoming car.

Of course, everyone who stands to profit knows that a world without Tyson-Lewis probably means a world with Holyfield-Ruiz IV: As a first-hand observer at the mayhem and chaos of Holyfield-Tyson II, the only answer at this point is to pull Tyson’s license.

If you’d only asked, those of us hickfolk out here on the West Coast could have told you the young man could no-look you out of your drawers from the time he was 14: A story in Thursday’s New York Post began, "Jason Kidd didn’t just wake up one day as one of the greatest passers in NBA history."

Speaking of Jason Kidd, he heads into the second half of the NBA season with three letters attached to the back of his name: MVP.

With less than a month to go before spring training, you might want to toss a hint to the little woman about an appropriate gift to commemorate the season: On eBay now, a Richie Zisk White Sox RC Cola can, still waiting for that opening bid of $3.99.

It was the kind of performance that makes you long for Lindsey Nelson: Dick Stockton was so slow and unresponsive on the Eagles-Bears games I started wondering if he was doing a studio re-creation and Fox decided not to tell anyone about it.

Speaking of Lindsey Nelson: After an exchange of punts, we pick up the action with Clements leading the Irish on the Spartans 46-yard line.

Hey! Hey! I’m broadcasting here!: Kevin Harlan, in midseason form.

Just for the heck of it: Nolan Cromwell.

One thing’s for sure: Steve Lavin thinks his guy was fouled.

This week’s poll question: How often, in percentage terms, do you think NBA refs are guessing on foul calls in the lane?

Note to Mark Cuban: Individual participants are limited to 50,000 votes.

And finally: You know you’re out of line at your press conference when the best thing someone can say in your defense is, "That’s wrong -- he didn’t bite anyone."

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at tim.keown@espnmag.com.