A few weeks ago, I proposed some demands that A-God should be making to his prospective employers -- things like a larger phantom double play zone, alphabetical precedence over Hank Aaron in The Baseball Encyclopedia, a wax figure of Edgar Martinez in the on-deck circle, etc.

I didn't dream of $252 million.

My first question is, Did the Rangers play hardball at some point in the negotiations and say, "Alright, $252 million, but not a penny more?"

My second question is, What do you do with all that money when you're 25 and single? When I was 25 and single, I bought a brown Dodge Dart. A-God can now buy 3,134 Porsche Carreras (Source: the New York Post.) On the same day Alex Rodriguez signed, Wayne Gretzky and his partner bought the Phoenix Coyotes for $87 million. That means A-God can buy two hockey teams and still get back $72 million in change. (Source: The Magazine's John "Kruk" Broder.)

My third question is, Pitching -- ever hear of it? Tom "Mine's Bigger Than Yours" Hicks is like the Rotisserie League owner who loads up on offensive players -- Velarde, Caminiti, Galarraga, and now A-God -- then realizes he has $25 left for nine pitchers. Come to think of it, Tom Hicks is like me in that regard. But only in that regard. I'm guessing he never owned a brown Dodge Dart.

My fourth question is, Who partied harder Monday night, A-God or Derek Jeter?

My fifth question is, What business is it of ours if Mine's Bigger Than Yours wants to spend a quarter of a billion on a pretty good shortstop? If you're thinking the answer is, Because this time next year, we'll end up paying for A-God with increased ticket prices, you're wrong. The answer is, Because this time next year, we'll end up paying for A-God with a dire forecast for the 2002 baseball season.

My sixth question is, Does this mean Benji Gill is no longer the Ranger shortstop of the future?

My seventh question is, Does A-God realize that even though he makes more money than Gates, that even if he hits .400 and goes 40-40 in that oppressive heat, that even should he carry the Rangers through the World Series on his well-scratched back, he still won't be as popular in Dallas as Daryl "Moose" Johnston?

My eighth question is, Won't it look suspicious when President Bush names Scott Boras to the Supreme Court?

My ninth question is, Does this mean we can't accuse the Yankees of buying the Series any more? Absolutely not -- especially after they pick up Mike Hampton from the cellar-dwelling Rockies on Aug. 31.

My 10th -- in honor of the length of A-God's contract -- is WHAT SWEET-SASSY-MOLASSEY WAS EVERYBODY THINKING?

Steve Wulf is executive editor of ESPN The Magazine. E-mail steve.wulf@espnmag.com.