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The Life


Seriesly, folks
ESPN The Magazine

Should've seen it coming.

While the rest of you are probably shocked, shocked!, that the Minnesota Twins are having their best season since Prince was Prince, and that the Cubs are thinking they may win the World Series for the first time since Edward VIII was a prince -- I have a feeling I should've taken a closer look at both of them at the start of the season.

What did we miss about the Twins? A couple of things, really. Name all the baseball franchises to win a World Series in both the '80s and '90s. Answer: Only one -- the Twins. At the risk of pissing off you Yankee fans out there, with your 26 World Series titles and all, where were your guys in the '80s, huh? Nothing says consistency like a title every decade, and well, the Twins are the only club with any kind of streak going right now.

What else do they have going for them? A proven field general in Tom Kelly. A positive (delayed) reaction to the changing of their caps, a la the '83 Orioles. And a poetic double-play combination to rival Tinker to Evers to Chance: Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon niche, Making a Yankee hit into an out pitch, Words that are weighty with nothing but glitch: Guzman to Rivas to Mientkiewicz.

Speaking of which, the Cubs haven't won it all since T to E to C in 1908. So if you're looking for an explanation for why they're in the thick of things, here it is: They're due.

So you'd better get used to seeing the Twins and Cubs atop the standings. In fact, you should prepare for a World Series between these two Andy MacPhailed teams. With that in mind (as well as the notion that it's good to get the jump on the competition), here are the 2001 World Series matchups:

CATCHER: A.J. Pierzynski is hitting .385 in his bid for Rookie of the Year. Todd Hundley is hitting .129 in his bid to make Bobby Valentine even more sure of himself. Edge: Twins

FIRST BASE: If Doug Mientkiewicz (pronounced just like the scourge of the state's spelunkers: Minn Cave Itch) can spend two weeks in Sydney with Tommy Lasorda, he is capable of anything. Mark Grace is playing for the Arizona Diamondbacks. Edge: Twins

SECOND BASE: Luis Rivas is a forty-forty guy (Fort Wayne 1997, Fort Myers 1998). Eric Young was a 5'8" wide receiver at Rutgers and lived to tell about it. Edge: Cubs

SHORTSTOP: Cristian Guzman or Ricky Gutierrez? This one is so close they're right next to each other in the Baseball Register. Edge: Twins

THIRD BASE: Corey Koskie is arguably the best player ever to come out of Anola, Manitoba. Bll Mueller has made Cubs fans forget Kevin Orie. Edge: Still Twins

LEFT FIELD: Jacque Jones: How cool a name is that? Damon Buford and Gary Matthews Jr. have both squandered their inheritance. Edge: Twins

CENTER FIELD: Torii Hunter was named the Most Exciting Player in the Pacific Coast League by Baseball America. Rondell White was named the Most Exciting Player on the Disabled List by the New England Journal of Medicine. Edge: Cubs

RIGHT FIELD: This time, it's Matt and Sammy, Lawton vs. Sosa, the best player on the Twins vs. the best player on the Cubs. Edge: Cubs

STARTERS: Brad Radke, Eric Milton, Joe Mays and Mark Redman are a combined 1-1 in Wrigley Field, which should be enough since the Twins have an eight-game winning streak at home in the World Series. Jon Lieber, Kevin Tapani, Kerry Wood and Julian Tavarez better hope the wind is blowing in. Edge: Twins

CLOSER: LaTroy Hawkins should change his name to Screamin' Line Drive Hawkins. Studs Terkel is hard at work on a novel: The Girl Who Loved Jeff Fassero. Edge: Cubs

BENCH: Quick, name two pine-riders on either team. Edge: Twins

MANAGER: Tom Kelly was Don Baylor's manager for a few weeks in 1987. How would you feel if you were going against your former boss? Edge: Twins

So there you have it. The winner is obvious: Baseball. Because when the Twinkies take the Series in five, thus beating the daylights out of the small market/large market doomsayers, the owners will realize the game is not really in trouble, the players will come to the epiphany that money isn't everything, and America will rejoice in a wonderful Cinderella story.

The only downside is that George Steinbrenner will fire Joe Torre and hire that (rhymes with Mientkiewicz) from The Weakest Link.

Goodbye.

Steve Wulf is executive editor of ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at steve.wulf@espnmag.com.



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