Their minor leaguers foiled a bank robbery last year. Tropicana Field is the closest major league ballpark to a beach. There are not one, but two movies in the works about their players (unfortunately, Jim Morris is no longer in the majors, and Toe Nash is a long way from them).

Look, it's probably too late to make the Tampa Bay Devil Rays a better team. But if they're going to threaten the 1962 Mets' record of 120 losses -- and as of now, they're right on pace -- we should at least make them as loveable as those Amazin' Mets were.

The Trop has a cigar bar and a cyber cafe. Fans who catch a Rays home run ball at home are guaranteed an autograph from that player. Centerfielder Gerald Williams was once on Saturday Night Live. The pitching staff has a chance to lead the AL in hit batsmen for an unprecedented fourth year in a row.

I can tell: You're beginning to warm to them. So what if they've spent nearly every day of their existence in last place? So what if their best hitters are the manager and the coaches (Hal McRae, Wade Boggs, Darren Daulton, Jose Cardenal, Frank Howard). So what if the former ThunderDome was built on a toxic waste dump?

Their new president, John McHale Jr., favors bow ties. Their biggest star, Fred McGriff, gets the biggest laugh on those Tom Emanski promos on ESPN. (Nice hat, Fred.) The new sleeveless Rays uniforms are way cool. Wilson Alvarez owns two cockatoos.

Books have been written about the '62 Mets. Marv Throneberry, Choo-Choo Coleman and Rod Kanehl are forever etched in the consciousness of seamheads everywhere. You probably know Jay Hook was the first Mets pitcher to win a game. Who was the first Rays pitcher to win a game? Wrong, it was Rolando Arrojo.

Don Zimmer went 0-for-his-first-34 as a Met and got lionized. Where have you gone, Scott McLain?

Bryan Rekar's cousin is Pete Bercich, a special teams player with the Minnesota Vikings. The Rays have a set of identical twins in the farm system, Jason and Nathan Cromer. Pitching prospect Jason Standridge was home-schooled until the 10th grade. The artificial surface, FieldTurf, isn't terrible.

The funny thing is that '62 Mets and the '01 Rays began spring training in exactly the same place: what is now called the Huggins-Stengel Complex, a set of fields a few miles from the Trop in St. Petersburg. But the Mets had a loveable legend in Casey Stengel; the Rays had an intelligent nonentity named Larry Rothchild.

The Mets were replacing the Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants in the hearts of New Yorkers. The Rays were replacing the St. Pete Cardinals of the Florida State League. The Mets had lots of fans. The Rays draw 20,000 on a good night. The Mets had the full force of the New York media behind them, writers like Jimmy Breslin, Red Smith, George Vecsey and Dick Young. The Rays have some very good writers covering them, and one of the best PR men in the business, Rick Vaughn, but let's face it, news from St. Pete is lucky to get past Plant City.

You can buy a $2 ticket for your kid.

There's a righthanded pitcher in the organization named Pedro Martinez.

Rekar is 0-7 and still in the rotation.

New manager Hal McRae doesn't pull his punches: "We're not good."

The Devil Ray is a massive, but gentle creature. Sort of like their Senior Advisor for Baseball Operations, old-time power hitter Frank Howard. Outfielder Jason Tyner isn't just looking for his first major league homer, he's looking for his first warning track. Their best prospect, outfielder Josh Hamilton, wears size 19 shoes. Greg Vaughn is again co-hosting "An Evening of Jazz" at the Trop with Bucs QB Shaun King. Buddy Biancalana manages the Rays' South Atlantic League affiliate, the Charleston Riverdogs.

Sold on the Rays yet? If not, we could appeal to your compassionate nature, or your love of the Sunshine State, or your aversion to the thought of major league contraction. Or we could play our trump card.

McArthur Church is the best dancing groundskeeper in baseball.

Steve Wulf is executive editor of ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at steve.wulf@espnmag.com.