The Mark Corey incident? Hey, it was just one toke over the line. The season-killing home run Armando Benitez gave up to Craig Counsell? Happens to the best of 'em. The revelation that a few Mets were rolling their own? Geez, I remember when whole teams were snorting foul lines. Bobby V. taking the fall for Stevie P.'s offseason acquisitions of Roger Cedeno, Roberto Alomar, Mo Vaughn, Jeromy Burnitz, Jeff D'Amico, Shawn Estes, Lassie and Rin Tin Tin? Ask Joe Torre: Getting fired as the Mets manager is not the worst thing in the world.

What really has my dander up, though, is the arrest of four former club employees for allegedly stealing $2 million from the Mets from 1994 to 2000. I shouldn't be so upset -- after all, Burnitz swiped $6.5 million this season.

But do you realize what the Mets could have done with that money? It comes out to $285,714.29 (rounded off) a year! And if those bucks had been judiciously spent, who knows? History might have changed:

	Coulda, woulda, shoulda been the greatest manager in Mets history.

1995 -- Realizing Dallas Green can no longer motivate the players, GM Joe McIlvaine makes a call to the Chiba Lotte Marines in Japan's Pacific Division and inquires as to how much it would cost to buy out manager Bobby Valentine's contract. Their response: 35,148,571 yen, or $285,714.29. Valentine arrives in July and lights a fire under the Mets, who overtake the Braves in the NL East, then beat the Reds in the NLCS and sweep the Indians in the World Series.

1996 -- Valentine, who has been given both front office and field responsibilites by bosom buddies Fred Wilpon and Nelson Doubleday, offers to trade his sensational young shortstop prospect, Rey Ordonez, to Seattle for Alex Rodriguez, the kid shortstop who hit only .232 the year before. "Can you throw in a little cash?" asks Mariner GM Woody Woodward. "How does $285,714.29 sound?" replies Valentine. "Done," says Woodward. A-Rod, as he becomes known, hits .358 with 38 homers, not counting the five he hits in the Mets' sweep of the Yankees in the World Series.

1997 -- Free agent pitcher Roger Clemens is still trying to decide between the Blue Jays and Mets when Valentine takes the Rocket and his wife out for a night on the town. Cost of limo, front row center seats to The Lion King, dinner for four at The Four Seasons, complete with three bottles of Chateau D'Yquem: $285,714.29. Money well spent, as Clemens decides to sign with the Mets and goes 21-7 before throwing two shutouts in the Series sweep of the Indians.

1998 -- It's hard to keep the team focused, what with so much attention attached to the home run race between the Cardinals' Mark McGwire and the Mets' Sammy Sosa, acquired the previous year for Bernard Gilkey. (Cubs GM Andy MacPhail had been reluctant to make the deal until he saw Gilkey's performance in Men In Black at a special screening that Valentine had arranged for a cost of $285,714.29.) Sosa loses the home run race, but counting the two he hits against the Padres and the three he hits in the sweep of the Yankees, he actually outslugs Big Mac, 71-70.

1999 -- Yet another World Series sweep of the Yankees is a letdown after the hard-fought National League campaign. After beating the Reds in a one-game playoff for the wild card spot and riding Todd Pratt's 10th-inning solo homer to the Division Series win over the D-Backs, the Mets beat the Braves in a hard-fought, seven-game NLCS. The hero? Journeyman reliever Russ Springer, who closes out the last two games, more than justifying his salary of $285,714.29.

2000 -- Talking to himself, manager Bobby Valentine tells general manager Bobby Valentine, "We need a leadoff hitter." The GM replies, "I know somebody in Japan. Let me make a call … Konichiwa, Ichiro?" The five-minute call to Kobe from his Port St. Lucie hotel room shows up on Valentine's bill as $285,714.29. But Suzuki becomes an immediate sensation, winning the NL batting title and leading the Mets to a Series sweep of the Yankees. Yankee fans, however, are still talking about an incident in Game 2 when the Mets' Clemens flings the shard of a broken bat at Yankee catcher Jorge Posada. (Fortunately, Mets first baseman Mike Piazza intervened between the two).

So there you have it. Had all that taken place, Mets fans would be openly mocking those loser Yankee fans, Sterling Doubleday Enterprises would have acquired and turned around the Knicks, Jets and Rangers, and -- come next April -- Governor Al Leiter would be cutting the ribbon on a gleaming new stadium on Manhattan's West Side: Valentine Park.

Those thieves stole more than money. They stole history.

Throw the book at 'em.

Steve Wulf is executive editor of ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at steve.wulf@espnmag.com.