I'm weary of baseball players getting bigger every season, swelling more noticeably than Alec Baldwin. I'm tired of players bulking up on "creatine'' (wink, wink) and getting so big they look like they are wearing Bronco Nagurski's shoulderpads. I'm bored with players getting so big that they go up to the plate with the batting donuts still on their bats. I'm worn out by players getting so big that the outfielders have to keep telling the infielders, "Down in front."

I want more players like Anaheim shortstop David Eckstein.

Off Base Power Rankings

1. Ozzie Smith If only Jack Buck could have introduced him

2. Atlanta First-place run has lasted so long, fans developing RSI from tomahawk chop

3. Pennsylvania miners Next impossible rescue: Haul up Rangers from bottom of AL West

4. Twins Remember: Those old obituary notices double as playoff tickets

5. Angels So hot the rally monkey last seen climbing Empire State Building with Fay Wray

6. Yankees "Red Sox Suck" T-shirt to be replaced with "We respect Red Sox and their right to self-determination"

7. Ted Williams Compromise: Family will have him stuffed

8. Asteroid NT7 200,000-1 chance of hitting earth in 2019 -- about same as Cubs winning World Series by then

9. San Diego beaches Covered by dying giant squids, expiring Padres

10. Wall Street Investors advised to shift to game-used bubblegum

The Angels' media guide lists him at 5-foot-8 but he admits that isn't true: "I'm 5-7 at the tallest." Eckstein says that when he was growing up in Florida and went to Disney World and the other surrounding amusement parks, he never was quite tall enough to reach the raised hand of those cartoon figures warning, "You must be THIS high to go on this ride."

"One time when I was in Double-A," Eckstein said. "the game went into extra innings and when it got real quiet, some fan yelled out, 'Hurry up, I have to get my son David to his Little League game.'"

Baseball needs more guys like Eckstein. He may be 5-foot-7 but in this age of creatine and andro, he stands tall. He's hitting .287. He's stolen 15 bases. He's scored 68 runs, most on the team, and driven in 51 out of the leadoff spot. He's hit three grand slams. He's one of the main reasons the Angels have rebounded from a sluggish start to move into a tie with the Mariners atop the AL West.

He's also been hit 18 times, tops in the majors, after leading the league as a rookie last year. He's been hit so many times his teammates call him the Magnet. He doesn't wear any body armor or padding. He just digs in close to the plate, knowing he'll get hit. He doesn't care.

"He goes up there and he does his job," Mariners pitcher Jamie Moyer said. "He crowds the plate. He fouls balls off. He can bunt. He gets on base. And if you leave a pitch in the middle of the zone, he can hit it out. You see him and think, 'Look at that little guy playing shortstop.' But he plays his heart out. I like him more and more."

Eckstein was a second baseman, the traditional position for the vertically challenged, until the Angels claimed him on waivers two years ago from the Red Sox and shifted him to short.

"At first, we were pleasantly surprised at how well he made the move," Angels manager Mike Scioscia said. "But as time goes on, nothing he does surprises us anymore."

"Remember when you were a kid and listening to your coaches tell you how to play?" Moyer said. "That's the way Eckstein is. He does everything the way it's supposed to be done. Looking at him is like looking in the mirror when someone teaches you the fundamentals."

Eckstein says his size has never really limited him, though some coaches said he wasn't big enough to play at a Division I school. Undaunted, he turned down a scholarship to walk on at Florida, where his coach, Andy Lopez, spent three years bragging about a former player of his, 5-foot-7 infielder Craig Grebeck.

"He'd say, 'Grebeck goes out and plays his heart out and puts it on the line every night. He just get the job done. You guys get caught up in all this stuff that isn't important but you should take a lesson from him.'''

Last week, Grebeck visited the Angels clubhouse and when Eckstein saw him, the two hugged and stood back to back to see who was taller. "It was wonderful to see the two little guys, the midgets, embracing," Angels broadcaster Rex Hudler said. "They measured each other and when somebody said that Eckstein might have been a little bit taller, that made Grebeck happy. He was proud to be the shortest."

Rightly so. Ozzie Smith, who entered the Hall of Fame over the weekend, was officially listed as weighing just 150 pounds, making him one of the smallest players in Cooperstown. Last year's American League MVP, Ichiro, is 5-foot-9. The little guy not only can still play in the majors, he can be a major force.

"There's definitely a role for a guy whose focus is on hitting singles and doing the basics," Eckstein said. "There's still room in the game for someone like me. I take a lot of pride in executing the fundamentals. That's what's so beautiful about baseball."

Exactly. There are no cartoon characters setting height restrictions outside major league clubhouses.

Box score line of the week
The Tigers haven't had a winning season since 1993 and haven't reached the playoffs since 1987. The Royals haven't had a winning season since 1994 and haven't reached the playoffs since 1985. So what made a late-July game between the two Wednesday notable? One line in the box score:

T-1:41.

At one hour, 41 minutes, the game was the shortest in the majors since the final day of the 1984 season when Atlanta beat San Diego in one hour, 39 minutes (that was the same day Mike Witt threw a perfect game against the Rangers in one hour, 49 minutes; apparently, a lot of people wanted to finish that season). Talk about daylight savings time -- Wednesday's game ended at 8:47 ET when the Cleveland-New York game was only halfway to its three-hour, 28-minute completion.

"My goal right now is drive home without my lights on," pitcher Steve Sparks told Danny Knobler of the Booth Newspaper chain.

Lies, damn lies and statistics
How popular was Ted Williams? Monday's memorial service for him at Fenway Park drew a ticket-buying crowd of about 20,000 the same night Florida drew 10,515 fans for its game with first-place Atlanta. In other words, Jeffrey Loria is following up his disastrous run in Montreal by being outdrawn roughly 2-to-1 by a dead man. Nice going, Jeff! Maybe you should trade off some more good players! ... Minnesota's 14-game lead is the biggest the Twins have had in their history (the previous high was 11). ... First-year manager Ron Gardenhire, by the way, has already been ejected almost as many times this season (four) as Tom Kelly was in his entire 15 seasons with the Twins (five). ... Must reading: Gary Smith's article on Barry Bonds' 73rd home run ball in this week's Sports Illustrated. Smith is one of the very best in the business and like all greats sports stories, this one really isn't about sports at all. Superb.

From left field
Ozzie Smith was inducted into the Hall of Fame over the weekend, officially ending the curse of The Simpsons. Ozzie was one of the nine ringers Mr. Burns recruited to win the company softball league in the classic 1992 episode, "Homer at the Bat" (who can forget Terry Cashman singing, "We're talking Homer ... Ozzie and the Straw"?). Misfortune befell most of the nine in the next couple seasons -- Jose Canseco ruined his arm, Steve Sax retired, Roger Clemens got hurt and Darryl Strawberry had too many things happen to list.

But now Ozzie is the first of the nine in the Hall of Fame and the curse is lifted. How many of the other players from that episode will reach Cooperstown? "There'll be more," said Mike Scioscia, who went to work at the power plant in the episode and suffered a radiation overdose. "(But I have) no chance. Absolutely nil."

We handicap the players:

Player	The dish
Wade Boggs	Will go in on first ballot in 2006
Jose Canseco	Slim chance became slimmer with steroid admission
Roger Clemens	Will go in first ballot five years after retirement
Ken Griffey Jr.	Still looking very good, just not quite as good
Don Mattingly	Only chance may be the veteran's committee
Steve Sax	Not even if he COULD throw to first base
Mike Scioscia	He better win a lot of pennants as a manager
Darryl Strawberry	Maybe if they open a Betty Ford wing

Win Blake Stein's money
This week's category is: But He Had A Strong Arm

Q: Who has the lowest career batting average among Hall of Fame position players?

A: Ray Schalk's .253 average is last among the 132 position players in the Hall and barely higher than Walter Johnson's .236 average. Schalk also hit fewer home runs than any Hall of Famer (just 11, but he somehow hit for the cycle one game). He is best known for his defensive skill, and innovations as a catcher (backing up first base, for example), catching four no-hitters in his career and for hitting .303 in the 1919 World Series that his teammates tanked (he almost came to blows with Lefty Williams when it became clear to Schalk what was going on).

Infield chatter
"I spent part of my life in a prison camp and getting beat up on a daily basis. I don't want to go through that again."

-- Arizona senator and former Vietnam POW John McCain on whether he would like to be baseball commissioner

Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com. He can be reached at cuffscaple@hotmail.com.