The flop stops here

The Mag presents a detailed guide to end flopping

Originally Published: October 30, 2012
By Eddie Matz | ESPN The Magazine

Paul PierceBrian Babineau/Getty ImagesListen up, Paul Pierce. We're talking to you.

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WELCOME, PLAYERS, to Flight 1213, our new nonflop flight with continuing service to the NBA Finals. Please take a moment to review our new no-flopping policy. While reading it, note the location of your four officials: one on the baseline, one at the foul line extended, one near the three-point line -- and one at NBA headquarters who's ready to review all potential flops for the flailing of arms, the embellishing of contact, the whipping of heads and the feigning of injury. (Mr. Pierce, would you please remove your headphones?) In the likely event that a flop does occur, you will first be issued a warning. Additional flops, up to and including a fifth one, will incur escalating fees of up to $30,000 -- also known as chump change. A player who receives a sixth violation (a pillow, Mr. Ginobili?) may be suspended or remanded to the custody of air marshal Stu Jackson. So for your safety, please turn off and stow away all electronic devices, and enough already with the following acts.

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Chris Philpot for ESPN The Magazine"The Stop and Drop"

The Stop and Drop


Do you collapse like a dog hitting an electric fence every time you run into a pick, no matter if the screener is Nikola Pekovic or Nate Robinson? Then it's time to learn to work around screens -- or how to call "Switch!"
Frequent floppers: Mario Chalmers, Danilo Gallinari, Omer Asik

The Ric Flair


When a nearby opponent raises his arm, you:
1) Position your forehead inches from his elbow;
2) Crumple to the court as if tasered in the temple;
3) Repeatedly yell "My eyes! My eyes!" If so, stop it. It's just embarrassing.
Frequent floppers: James Harden, Chris Paul


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Chris Philpot for ESPN The Magazine"The Fall Guy"

The Fall Guy


Are you a post defender? Do you often find yourself absorbing an initial bump on the blocks, only to drop like a bowling pin on second contact? Are you Dwyane Wade? If "yes" to at least two of these three questions, cut it out.
Frequent floppers: Dwyane Wade, Pau Gasol

The Flying Fibula


Attention, Reggie Miller disciples: Sticking your leg out to draw contact with a defender while shooting a J might earn a free throw, but it's also likely to earn you a patronizing lecture from David Stern. Worth it? Doubt it.
Frequent floppers: Manu Ginobili, Dirk Nowitzki, Paul Pierce


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Chris Philpot for ESPN The Magazine"The Fender Bender"

The Fender Bender


Do you ever deliberately stop short while dribbling down the court in an attempt to force a trailing defender into a rear-end collision? Works on car insurance claims. Will not work in today's NBA.
Frequent floppers: Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo, Russell Westbrook

The Hurt Locker


When battling for position down low, you like to lock elbows with opponents, then execute histrionic "escapes," arms a-flailing, from these traps of your own making. Look Ma, I'm Dennis Rodman! No, you're not. Nor do you want to be.
Frequent floppers: Blake Griffin, Kevin Garnett

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