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20 -- Worst preseason prediction of the 21st century
What media knucklehead confidently wrote in August that "Vanderbilt will receive its first bowl bid since 1982?" Uh, this knucklehead.

That was before Vandy lost to Ole Miss Saturday, dropping its record to 0-3. . . before all-SEC linebacker Jamie Winborn began ingesting moron pills (suspended two games for accepting free financial advice from "financial planners," having team captaincy stripped after breaking curfew, having open bottle of beer in car, expired license plates and registration). . . before realizing that Woody Widenhofer's preseason optimism (five fifth-year starters, 16 returning starters, no coaching staff changes, great spring practices, hellacious defense) had more hot air than the Bud blimp.

19 -- Second worst preseason prediction of the 21st century
Me, again. Not only thought Alabama was good enough to win the SEC, but good enough to win the AFC Wild Card game. Freddie Milons. . . boffo defense. . . coach Mike DuBose talking about winning a national championship -- hey, I fell for it.

Now this: A 1-2 record, a quarterback controversy, Milons' Heisman hopes down the tubes, an unfriendly remaining schedule (at Arkansas, South Carolina, Ole Miss, at Tennessee, Central Florida, at LSU, at Mississippi State, Auburn), the program's worst start since 1990 and most unsettling of all, the resumption of the dreaded Countdown to Dismissal for poor DuBose.

"One of two things is going to happen," DuBose said after the Tide was shut out by Southern Mississippi Saturday. "Either we are going to separate and fall, or we're going to come together."

Which reminds us of a summer caveat offered by DuBose at the SEC meetings. "My major concern is leadership," he said that day in Birmingham. He was talking about his team, but now the same is being asked about DuBose himself.

18 -- The Irrelevant Bowl
That's what they were calling Saturday's Buffalo-Connecticut game, a battle of Divison I-A poodles who are so low on the football food chain they barely qualify as plankton.

Buffalo entered the day without a I-A victory since 1970, without a halftime lead in its previous 17 games and without a clue when it came to stopping Syracuse (63-7) and Rutgers (59-0). Poor Connecticut, in its first season of I-A, actually began the year ranked next to last among all programs. Buffalo was last. And the Huskies football is considered so insignificant that USA Today doesn't list them in its weekly schedule and record update.

But irrelevant? Not if you were at Buffalo Stadium. UConn won the game, 24-21; Buffalo won some respect.

17 -- Irrelevant Bowl II
Saturday's Duke at Vanderbilt game. Good lower decks still available.

16 -- Coach of the week


	Notre Dame's win over Purdue might give Bob Davie some job security.

Hmmm. . . this should take about a nanosecond to decide.

Not only was Notre Dame without injured quarterback Arnaz Battle and defensive end Grant Irons, but the Irish were still dealing with the mental scars left by the overtime loss to Nebraska a week earlier. And just for fun, they had to face Purdue's Drew Brees, who has a Heisman to try to win.

Despite all this -- and the usual number of bailout Irish season ticket holders who take the scalping cash -- Bob Davie managed to keep his team together for a last-second victory against the Boilermakers. Maybe now those Irish chat rooms will put a collar on the Davie Death Watch. The guy has coached his leprechaun off.

Of course, that doesn't mean it gets any easier for Davie and the fellas. They travel to Michigan State this week.

15 -- Coach of the week -- honorable mention
Wisconsin's Barry Alvarez. Got revenge and almost a heart murmur all on the same afternoon.

Nothing comes easy for the Badgers, who needed overtime to avenge last season's upset by Cincinnati. Alvarez still has another week of SneakerGate suspensions (five starters, including Michael Bennett, Jamar Fletcher and Wendell Bryant, missed the Cincinnati game) before his lineup and life return to normal.

14 -- Quote of the week
"It's going to be a great feeling. I think we'll walk off the field and there will be silence."
-- Florida wide receiver Alex Willis, predicting not only a victory against Tennessee, but the reaction of the 108,768 fans crammed into Neyland Stadium. He was right. The only thing you could hear was jaws dropping as the Gators drove 91 yards and scored the game-winner touchdown with 14 seconds remaining to beat the Vols.

Despite the come-from-behind victory, Florida coach Steve Spurrier is smart enough to know the Gators aren't as invincible as his players think they are. Tennessee had more first downs, rushing yards, offensive plays, time of possession, third down conversions and sacks than Florida, as well as fewer penalties.

Afterward, a gracious Spurrier met Phillip Fulmer at midfield and complimented the Tennessee coach on the Vols' play. The two coaches have had their testy moments in the past, but this time they were beyond civil. In what has to be a public first, Fulmer used the words "class guy" to describe Spurrier.

13 -- Quote of the geek
"It doesn't look like they're ready over there on their offensive line."
-- Florida defensive end Alex Brown, who had exactly zero sacks and one unassisted tackle against a Tennessee line that featured two sophomores and two freshmen. However, Brown had an excellent view of Vols running back Travis Henry rushing for 175 yards.

12 -- Curse of the Houndstooth Hat
Unless Penn State can have a mulligan for 2000, it looks as if Joe Paterno might have to wait until next season to break Bear Bryant's record for all-time victories.

Thanks to another mind-boggling loss -- a 12-0 shutout at Pittsburgh -- JoePa needs six wins in his next eight regular season games to surpass the Bear. Good luck. The Nittany Lions go to Ohio State Saturday, play dangerous Purdue at home, travel to Minnesota, get two weeks to prepare for Illinois, go to Indiana, return home for Iowa, go to Michigan and then get Michigan State at Unhappy Valley.

Our guess: loss, loss, win (maybe), loss, win, win, loss, win (maybe). If that happens, Penn State is home for the holidays -- an incredible collapse, considering the Nittany Lions had a 12-game regular season schedule to play with.

Don't look now, but Florida State's Bobby Bowden is in Paterno's rearview mirror. Say Penn State finishes 4-8 and FSU runs the regular season table, which isn't out of the question. That will leave JoePa with 322 career wins, Bowden with 316, and a bowl game to add another.

11 -- Wisconsin's offensive line
Ron Dayne gets a Heisman last season. Michael Bennett rushes for a jillion yards against Oregon a week ago. Eddie Faulkner subs for the suspended Bennett and rushes for 124 yards and the game-winning touchdown against Cincinnati.

Whatever the O-line coach at Wisconsin is making, it's not enough.

10 -- Long memory
Still trying to figure out why Auburn stuck it to LSU with a last-second (and unnecessary) score in its win against Nick Saban's team. Here's guessing Saban won't forget.

9 -- Indiana
Someone needs to tell the Hoosiers that zero tolerance doesn't mean zero wins is OK. Cam Cameron and Antwaan Randle El deserve better than an 0-2 record, but it isn't going to happen with a defense that has given up 41 and 41 points in its two losses.

8 -- Yale wins No. 800
Hey, 800 wins is 800 wins, even if most of the victories came against non-scholarship preppies named Biff and Thurston Howell III.

7 -- T-shirts, cheap!
Colorado's Gary Barnett loves slogans. He uses them as motivational focus points. The guy can't microwave popcorn without reaching for a silkscreen machine and churning out an inspirational message (If Some Old Four-Eyes Named Redenbacher Can Be Successful, So Can We!)

Needless to say, the Return To Dominance merchandise is moving a teensy-weensy slow in Boulder these days, thanks to an 0-3 start and a schedule harder than Ralphie's hoof.

The good news is. . . well, there is no good news. Colorado has two weeks before it plays Kansas State, which is wrapping up its annual Cupcake Non-Conference Tour. After K-State, CU gets a trip to Texas A&M and a homer against Texas. By the way, the Buffs end their regular season with a trip to No. 1 Nebraska.

New slogan: Return to 5-6!

6 -- Heisman Trophy race
Going up: Virginia Tech's Michael Vick, Florida State's Chris Weinke, TCU's LaDainian Tomlinson, Ole Miss' Deuce McAllister, Michigan's Anthony Thomas, Auburn's Rudi Johnson, UCLA's DeShaun Foster, Washington's Marques Tuiasosopo.
Staying same: Wisconsin's Michael Bennett, Nebraska's Eric Crouch, USC's Carson Palmer.
Needs help: Texas' Major Applewhite, Purdue's Drew Brees, Michigan's John Navarre.
Thanks for stopping by the booth: Alabama's Freddie Milons.

5 -- Mercy rule
The scary part about Kansas State's 76-0 win against hapless Ball State is that it could have been much worse. To K-State coach Bill Snyder's credit, the Wildcats used 84 players and three parking attendants in the game. Snyder's edict also called for no passes in the second half.

Even scarier is that K-State fans actually pay for a season-ticket package that features the worst non-conference schedule imaginable. Next up: North Texas.

4 -- Bad timing award
Alabama is considering a 10,000 seat addition to its stadium. Just guessing, but now is probably not the time to cold call for fundraising pledges.

3 -- Say it ain't so
If the Division I Management Council abides by the recommendation of the Championships/Competition committee, there only will be 26 certified bowl games through the 2002-03 season. That's too bad, because everyone was soooo excited about a possible Big Bob's Oil&Lube.com Bowl featuring the No. 8 MAC team vs. No. 9 Conference USA.

Enough already with more bowls. Even the 26 is too much by about six.

2 -- Finesse league, eh?
College football's favorite 1999 punching bag is kicking some serious major conference butt these days. Pac-10 commissioner Tom Hansen is using smile muscles he never knew he had after another weekend of west coast domination. Arizona State beat Colorado State, UCLA beat Michigan, Washington beat Colorado, Stanford beat Texas.

Compare that to the Big Ten, which saw Indiana lose to Kentucky, Michigan lose to the Bruins, Purdue lose to Notre Dame, Penn State lose to Pitt, Iowa lose to Iowa State and Northwestern lose to TCU. And an odd bounce here or there and Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan State and Ohio State could have lost, too.

One hack's weekly elite
Nebraska (2-0)
Florida State (3-0)
UCLA (3-0)
Clemson (3-0)
Wisconsin (3-0)
Washington (3-0)
Florida (3-0)
Michigan (2-1)
Auburn (3-0)
Virginia Tech (3-0)
Waiting list: Kansas State (3-0), Southern California (2-0), Tennessee (1-1), Toledo (3-0), Southern Mississippi (1-1).
Honorary elite team: South Carolina (3-0).

Gene Wojciechowski's Movers and Shakers appears every Monday.

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Harig: Fulmer and Vols left to regroup -- again

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