Here to the left of the Rocky Mountains, the start of the college football season always brings a drowse to the eye, a yawn to the throat and a complete lack of heartbeat to the chest.

	In case nobody noticed, Arizona's John Mackovic is back.

And hey, we gave up Rick Neuheisel just to get your attention.

But no, that didn't work, either. For us, the college football season is only slightly more compelling than the Scottish soccer season, because they affect us equally.

It's not like we have terrible teams here. USC has been revived, Washington is still a talented bunch, Arizona State is intriguing, and Boise State has the best record against the spread of any school in the country over the past four years.

Oh, no, we've got stuff to watch. In fact, several of our teams are playing this weekend, an obscenely early start by even Nebraska's standards.

But we don't get the urge, the blood fever. It's all Dundee United-Dunfermline to us.

This syndrome is a direct reflection of the fact that college football doesn't get the urge, let alone the blood fever for us any more, either. We haven't seen hide nor hair of the Game Day kids, we haven't seen a national championship game in forever, and the Rose Bowl, our only real national bargaining chip, has been bartered out like some cheap Gator Bowl knockoff.

But we are nothing if not fair-minded about it. Let us provide for you our Preseason West Of Boulder Primer -- teams and an inspirational member of the program for the college football you just don't have time to see:

Arizona:
Coming off a nearly successful player revolt, and without a conference win at home in two years, the plucky 'Cats are looking for better days. As though it could get much worse. John Mackovic enters his third year running the warm-up act to the basketball team. See you in January.
Inspirational name: Carl Tuitavuki.

Arizona State:
Head coach Dirk Koetter is hailed for his fanatical attention to detail, which makes him a worrisome dinner companion when there are games, practices or recruits to woo. In the other three weeks of the year, he is a barrel of hoots. On the other hand, after four years of blah, the Sun Devils may be back on the road to escaping the long and chilly shadow of the Arizona Cardinals.
Inspirational name: Regis Crawford.

Boise State:
The best bet in the country, and the strangest looking field. Blue turf, which has to be changed when the original hue confused birds who thought they were alighting in a lake. Honest. Since 1996, when they went a not-very-deceiving 2-10, they have won four, six, nine, nine, eight and 11 wins. A big draw for the television markets in and around Bronco Stadium.
Inspirational name: Wes Nurse.

BYU:
The elders went 13-1 in '96, and 12-1 in 2001. They are, therefore, three years away.
Inspirational name: Ifo Pili.

California:
Kansas State is not likely to give the Golden Bears the psychic benefits that Baylor did last year. In other words, the Bears are not likely to put a 70 on the Wildcats, or anyone else for that matter. On the other hand, the Cal fans must now learn to live more fully without the scapegoat of former coach Tom Holmoe, while worrying about whether Jeff Tedford can do wonders with an inexperienced team and work his way onto the coaching candidate's short list.
Inspirational name: Marvin Philip.

Idaho:
Eight wins in three years do not augur well for coach Tom Cable. Then again, can the Vandals really give up 45 points a game again this year? If so, that's some serious auguring.
Inspirational name: Vandals.

Fresno State:
Head coach Pat Hill will play anyone, anywhere, and he will hold his own. The Bulldogs open at Tennessee and then go to Oklahoma two weeks later. Head coach Pat Hill is not playing in either game. Head coach Pat Hill is no fool.
Inspirational name: Dartagnon Shack.

Hawaii:
The biggest offseason news was that June Jones was annoyed that state law required that his contract details be made public. You want to complain. Consider what the biggest offseason news was at Baylor, wise guys.
Inspirational name: Uriah Moenoa.

Nevada:
Not to be confused with Nevada-Las Vegas.
Inspirational name: Chance Kretschmer.

Nevada-Las Vegas:
Not to be confused with Nevada.
Inspirational name: Dietrich Canterberry.

Oregon:
New cornea-searing lemon-yellow uniforms give the Ducks the incentive to run very fast, very often. That, plus the realization that last year's 7-5 record, at one time a cause for nude parades down the middle of Eugene's burgeoning designer coffee district, was the school's worst since 1997 may induce extra effort from a team that just learned how to overcome the wisecracks about their nickname.
Inspirational name: Igor Olshansky.

Oregon State:
Mike Riley returns to the place where he almost turned around the program (he was 8-14), then left to dynamite his career with the San Diego Chargers, and now comes back to see if he can make a fashion statement less offensively garish than that being displayed at Oregon. He has to make the good people of rural western Oregon forget Dennis Erickson, who is trying to make people forget Steve Mariucci in San Francisco, who is trying to make people forget Marty Mornhinweg in Detroit. Oh, well ... somebody will be happy.
Inspirational name: Kirk Yliniemi.

San Jose State:
Trying to stay one step ahead of the padlock, but Fitz Hill still squeezed six wins out of a team that had six returning starters and nine road games. Proof positive that bad hotels and sophomores are not insurmountable obstacles. This year's pointless beating -- Florida.
Inspirational name: Kendrick Starling.

Tulsa:
Not technically west of the Rockies, but after two consecutive one-win seasons, anything past three makes Steve Kragthorpe the coach of the year.
Inspirational name: Tse Ogisi.

USC:
Carson Palmer is gone, but there is enough good feeling left after last year to wipe out the memories of those nine five-loss-or-worse seasons since 1990. The best news since Palmer decided to see if Cincinnati is still paying its players in meat was the disaster in Washington, but the Trojans have the players to become a player in the always important eight-to-12 national ranking pigpile.
Inspirational name: Matt Grootegoed.

UCLA:
At Colorado, at Oklahoma two weeks later, then Washington two weeks after that. Karl Dorrell: You Asked For It.
Inspirational name: Alex Ghebreselassie.

San Diego State:
Other than that scheduling slipup at Ohio State, the Aztecs could make some noise this year. As always, nobody will hear it. As one of the first teams in the country to wear all-black uniforms, they would have been at a pronounced advantage in a power shortage.
Inspirational name: Marviel Underwood.

Stanford:
Tyrone Willingham is still gone. But at Stanford, its been decades since they backed up a two-win season with another two-win season, so times will be good ... well, better, anyway ... in the land that poverty forgot.
Inspirational name: Brian Head.

Utah:
New coach Urban Meyer straightened Bowling Green out. Everything else is gravy, which comes as good news to Rick Majerus.
Inspirational name: Urban Meyer.

Utah State:
Just happy to be in a conference, even if it is the Sun Belt. Still happy to have Utah on the schedule, even if the homecoming game is Wyoming.
Inspirational name: John Chick.

Washington:
Keith Gilbertson has taken the words, "Wanna bet?" out of his vocabulary entirely, and told school trusties the other day that he didn't even know colleges had basketball teams. Having cleared those two important hurdles, he has a team that could win the conference, which Neuheisel looks under his shoulder from the safety of Rainier Beach High School.
Inspirational name: Zach Tuiasosopo.

Washington State:
Mike Price never did all that stuff when he was at Pullman. Of course, the guy working the counter at Arby's probably would have looked at him funny. New coach Bill Doba has the unenviable task of following a Rose Bowl team, and the enviable task of following a guy who is out of the business.
Inspirational name: Al Genatone.

And now, we return you to Florida.

Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Chroncile is a frequent contributor to ESPN.com