Ali Contest
The NFL Draft began at 9 a.m. on the West Coast, where you can watch an entire football game before lunch. NBA and NHL playoff games routinely end after 1 a.m. on the East Coast, where the classic choice is sports vs. sleep. So, which coast is better? The Sports Guy longs to be on the Atlantic shore, while Eric Neel says West is best.

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Page 2's Charley Rosen has assembled his own NBA Dream Team, the playoff participants he'd absolutely, positively trust to make that last key shot to win the game as the clock ticks down. And, of course, he throws in the counterpoint, too -- the superstars who shouldn't be allowed to fire up the buzzer-beaters.

Praising Larry Pick and Roll
When critics of Larry Eustachy ask "what's a married, 47-year-old basketball coach doing partying with college kids?", they're failing to ask the larger question. Namely, "what was the method behind the honey-nuzzling, suds-guzzling madness?"
Sure, John Stockton and Karl Malone never won a title in their 18 years with the Utah Jazz. But their story should be one of celebration, writes Jason Whitlock: black and white working together, proving the sports world can be far superior to the real world.

What do Tony Parker and Halle Berry have in common? What is priceless about Alabama football? Did we hear right about the U.S. Olympic hoops team? The Daily Quickie ain't beautiful, but it does have all the answers.

OK, we've all seen when athletes take out their aggression on other athletes, but let's not forget about the harmless creatures who have fallen as well. In honor of those animals who gave, so we could enjoy our games, we give you Page 2's list of the worst 10 cases of sports and animal cruelty:

10]  Mariner Moose smashes into wall, breaks ankle
The playoff pressuse must have gotten to Mariner Moose. In 1995 while riding on in-line skates behind a four-wheeler something went wrong and the moose went loose -- smashing into the left field wall.
9]  Ozzy the osprey knocked from perch
Jae Kuk Ryu, a 19-year-old pitcher for the Class A Daytona Cubs, hit Ozzy with a baseball in an attempt to knock him off his home. He succeeded and was charged with harming a protected bird
8]  Golfer clubs black swan
Alex, a 6-foot exotic black swan imported from Australia by Donald Trump, was killed by a golfer at the Trump International Golf Club. Harry Wagner told investigators he felt threatened by the swan, which is why he broke the rare bird's neck.

Thursday Celtics 3 Pacers 180
Thursday Bucks 3 Nets 191
Thursday Spurs 2 Suns 179
Thursday Lakers T-Wolves 203
Friday Magic 3 Pistons 181
Friday Hornets Sixers 182
Friday Mavericks Blazers 198
Bold indicates home team | Complete line

Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.

In honor of the death of Ozzy the osprey, Jeff Merron lists the 10 worst cases of sports and animal cruelty. Not all of our readers were amused, however.

When a guy decides to change all the plans on a date, he better make sure it isn't with Page 2's Stacey Pressman.

Who's the best baller alive? Page 2's Ralph Wiley has made his choice, and it ain't Kobe, Shaq, KG, Duncan or Alley I.

As he recaps the 2003 NFL Draft, TMQ can't help but notice that every coach is happy and every team is getting an A on its report card.

O.J. Simpson isn't getting a reality show ... but Page 2's Jim Caple proposes an O.J. show that would be a big hit.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.

It's L.A. Galaxy goalkeeper Kevin Hartman, left, and Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready. This match was requested by James Coughlin of Pittsburgh. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.

NCAA Men's Volleyball Semifinal
2 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Penn State vs. Brigham Young.
NBA Playoffs: Pistons at Magic
7 p.m. ET, ESPN
Detroit trying to spoil Magic act.
NBA Playoffs: Mavericks at Blazers
10:30 p.m. ET, ESPN2
Dallas was blazed, need a 6th game.
• Complete TV Listings

bIf you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Wed., April 30: Inhumane Society
• Tues., April 29: A Is For Everybody
• Mon., April 28: Must-See O.J.
• Fri., April 25: Basketball Jesus

Other featured content:
• 10 Burning Questions for Nelly
• Illegal Motion: Our new animated cartoon
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• Fashion Report: Women in Uniform
• Page 2's 2003 Wacky Bracket
Thursday, May 1, 2003