Ali Contest
You can dance if you want to. Just don't shake it so . . . suggestively. That's what they told Page 2's Alysse Minkoff before she took the Coliseum field as Josie Bruin for Saturday's big UCLA-USC game. So much for the rules. Her day as a mascot was not a 'Safety Dance,' and she has the red badge of courage to prove it.

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What is so rare as a holiday in late November? Nothing! Page 2's Brian Murphy rates 'em all, and Thanksgiving comes out on top. Fourth of July, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day . . . they all pale next to the neighborhood mud bowl, televised football and a late-afternoon, turkey-induced nap.

The Daily Quickie Ugliest Uniform Bracket
The Daily Quickie says the Dolphins ought to stick with Jay Fiedler, and keep him in that striking orange jersey while they're at it. Plus, sizing up a Bengals-Cowboys Super Bowl, and A-Rod's indecision.
Now it really gets unsightly. Page 2's Ugliest Uniform Bracket reaches the semifinal round today with a matchup of grotesquery between the Padres' camouflage tops and K-State's purple haze.

When we asked last week if you're burned out on Britney, you answered. Emphatically. You've responded. You want more Britney, so more Britney it is. We promise to keep publishing these photos.

Hey, it's Thanksgiving Week. You know what that means: Turkey! The way we eat, that should probably be plural. Turkeys. So here they are: The Biggest Sports Turkeys of 2003.

10]  Steve Bartman
It's one thing to try to catch a foul ball. It's quite another to foul up your favorite team's best chance to win a World Series since the Pilgrims found Plymouth Rock.
9]  Bill Romanowski
For his cheap KO of teammate Marcus Williams during practice and a lame apology a couple of days later. Not to mention that positive test for THG.
8]  Don Zimmer and Pedro Martinez
These two gladiators gave us some comic relief, at least. But coming as it did in the middle of one of the best playoff series in recent memory . . . well, let's just say it didn't do the game a lot of good.

Tonight Giants 9 Bucs 37½
Sunday Patriots 4 Colts 43½
Sunday Panthers 2 Eagles 36
Sunday Steelers 3 Bengals 41½
Sunday Ravens 3 49ers 37
Friday LSU Arkansas NL
Friday Texas 19½ Texas A&M NL
Saturday Georgia 8 Georgia Tech NL
Saturday Miami Pitt NL

Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.

Last week, a teammate made reference to Alonzo Mourning's kidney ailment during some verbal sparring in practice. Today, that kidney problem is forcing 'Zo's retirement.

So, is anything sacred when it comes to trash talk? The members of the Writers' Bloc engage in a little smackdown of their own.

Page 2's Bill Simmons recounts his 2003 fantasy basketball draft ... and Vinsanity sets in.

Everyone in the NFL is thinking about Keyshawn Johnson -- but no one thinks more of Key than Key himself.

Page 2's Rob Ryder debuts his inside tales from the making of Hollywood's top sports flicks.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.

It's Cowboys QB Quincy Carter, left, and old school hip hopper, Big Daddy Kane. This match was requested by Conrad Crawford in Boston. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.

College Football Tuesday
7 p.m. ET, ESPN2
North Texas at New Mexico State
Feast Week - Big 12 Basketball
9 p.m. ET, ESPN
Michigan State vs. Kansas
Feast Week - Maui Invitational
10 ET, ESPN2
Second semifinal game.
• Complete TV Listings

If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Fri., Nov. 21: Brit's Blitz
• Thur., Nov. 20: One-Track Mind
• Wed., Nov. 19: Smack Attack
• Tue, Nov. 18: Jock Hollywood

Other featured content:
• Re-building the Yankees
• All-Time World Series Rankings
• 100 Greatest Home Runs of All Time
• Ultimate Scorecard: 101 best uniform numbers
• The most underrated athletes of all time
• The most overrated athletes of all time
Monday, Nov. 24, 2003