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Where have you gone,
By Nick Bakay
Page 2 columnist
|The Tampa Bay Devil Rays have dropped the "Devil," and will henceforth be known as the "The Rays."
Good Nick: The Devil made Thurman Thomas lose his helmet just before the kickoff of Super Bowl XXVI. Bad Nick: Proper pronunciation be damned, my favorite sharp-shooting wing remains Miro Satan.
Good Nick: If we bow to our basest instincts, all is lost. Bad Nick: I know for a fact that God fixed the Kentucky Derby on at least three occasions.
Good Nick: The Raiders? Bad Nick: The Inquisition?
Good Nick: God works in mysterious ways. Bad Nick: Ever been to a Promise Keepers rally? Ever heard Reggie White speak off-the-cuff? Yikes ... Hallelujah!
Good Nick: A soul is a terrible thing to waste. Bad Nick: Am I the only one who thinks it's just wrong when players on the losing team join hands in prayer with their oppressors? Any thinking man knows the Devil deserves at least as many second chances as Steve Howe. And it's important to remember that even the Prince of Darkness couldn't lift the Rays over .500. Maybe Tampa would've been better off purging their scouting departments, but that's just one man's opinion. Humorist Nick Bakay, currently a writer for the CBS sitcom "King of Queens," is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and Page 2. He has a Web site at http://nickbakay.com. Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories
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