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Nick Bakay's Tale of the Tape: Bengals vs. HMO
By Nick Bakay
|One of my favorite ways of killing time is the age-old game of "Gun To The Head": Gun to the head, would you rather take a solid left from George Foreman in his prime, or run the Oky drill against LT? Which coach would you rather "disappoint" -- Bobby Knight, or Frank Kush? Who would you rather be right now, Scott Norwood or Bill Buckner? You can sit around for hours, weighing a pantheon of hideous dilemmas, or you can cut to the chase and get really ugly:
If you had to pick, which would you rather be -- a pro football fan in Cincinnati, or stuck with an HMO that cuts as many corners as Mike Brown? Only the strong need venture forth on this one. Bengals, HMO's, the twin towers of cheapness. Let's see how they stack up at the Tale of the Tape ...
Humorist Nick Bakay, currently a writer for the CBS sitcom "King of Queens," is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and Page 2. He has a Web site at http://nickbakay.com. Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories
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