|Behind the music|
By Gino Bona
Special to Page 2
Every one of us shares the same dream: We want to be rock stars.
We want that lifestyle. The money. The fame. The videos. The Cristal. The posses. The harems. The license to wear ass-less pants.
Athletes are no exception to this universally shared dream. Unfortunately, most athletes don't have the musical skills to go platinum. Even a reinstated Pete Rose can't beat the odds of turning from All-Star to rock star.
Sluggers have a better chance of hitting the Big Unit's fastball than hitting a high note on the big stage. Ballers have a better chance of breaking a full-court press than breaking 'N Sync's first-week sales record. Gridiron gods have a better chance of recording a sack than recording on a major label.
(You get my drift, right?)
But that doesn't stop athletes -- or any of us pathetic mortals -- from spraining a larynx at a nearby karaoke bar. I caught up with some rock jocks to see what they're crooning these days. What I discovered is quite startling: These athletes are pouring their hearts into every single word.
Florida State quarterback Chris Rix
"You wake up late for school, man -- you don't want to go.
Washington Wizards forward Michael Jordan
"I used to love her
NFL coaches Marty Morningweg, Mike Holmgren, Dave Campo, Dick LeBeau, Tom Coughlin, Mike Tice and Dick Jauron
"It's getting hot in here.
Alex Popov & Patrick Hayashi, co-owners of Barry Bonds' 73rd home run ball
"How can we be partners if we can't be friends?
Miami Heat coach Pat Riley
"Javie's got a gun.
(To the tune of: "Jump," by Van Halen)
"I get up. The Bears brought me down.
Robert Johnson, BET founder and owner of newest NBA franchise in Charlotte
"Who's the man with that dance? (RoJo!)
Larry Bird, NBA legend and almost-owner of newest NBA franchise in Charlotte
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
For the past year, Gino Bona has petrified unassuming readers on his "Wink & The Gun" site, which can be reached at www.winkandthegun.com. E-mail him at email@example.com.