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Being ... Tommy Lasorda
Page 2 staff

He has won two World Series and an Olympic gold medal. But today, all people think of when they hear the name Tommy Lasorda is that embarrassing tumble at the All-Star Game. So what's Tommy thinking?

"Wow! This is great! Me here with Ripken, Gwynn, Piazza and Clemens. ... Hey, what the &#@$ was that?"

"It was all part of my master plan to promote my new product: The Tommy Lasorda Bobble-Butt Doll."

"I know what everyone's thinking. I never should have given up Slim Fast."

"Can you believe the German judge only gave me a 9.6?"

"Laugh all you want, Zim, but at least nobody ever made me wear an army helmet in the dugout."

"I know I can't milk this baseball thing forever. I'm already thinking about my next career move."

"When Bonds breaks the homer record, I wonder if I'll get the credit I deserve for getting him to finally loosen up."

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