|Back to the future|
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist
There are so many calendars devoted to providing fans key sports dates that I think I saw a "This Date in Memphis Grizzlies History'' boxed calendar on the 50 percent table at Barnes and Noble.
Instead of focusing on the past though, what we need is a sports calendar that looks to the future. Just as the Old Farmer's Almanac prints holidays, weather forecasts, planting guides and astronomy movements for the upcoming year, we need a calendar that prints all the key dates, season forecasts and scheduled events for the coming sports year.
Jan. 3: New Moon. Buckeye Saving Time begins in Arizona. Repeatedly add overtime to the clock.
Jan. 5: Quadrantid meteor showers visible in northern pre-dawn skies. Pass interference invisible on San Francisco four-yard-line.
Jan. 18: Full Wolf Moon. Heavy rains expected in West. Last possible day to freeze Hall of Famers.
Jan. 20: Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday (observed)
Jan. 25: Chris Mills birthday (unobserved)
Jan. 31: Raccoons begin mating. Shawn Kemp continues mating.
Feb. 2: Groundhog Day. Folklore: If Jerry West sees shadow, traditionally indicates six more weeks of bad basketball in Memphis.
Feb. 10: Moon in Taurus, Neptune in Aquarius, Heidi Klum and Petra Nemkova in Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.
Feb. 14: St. Valentine's Day (unobserved by men).
Feb 16: Full Snow Moon. Gray whales begin migration to Alaska. Mo Vaughn begins migration to Florida.
Feb. 23: Last Quarter Moon. Michael Jordan un-retirement date (traditional)
March 12: Ember Day. Pleasantly warm in Northeast. Last day to receive flu shots and put local Domino's number on speed-dial before March Madness sets in.
March 18: Full Worm Moon. First day to plant crocuses in mid-Atlantic states and Ken Griffey Jr. trade rumors in Cincinnati newspapers.
March 19:Moon in Virgo. Swallows return to Capistrano, Duke returns to Sweet 16.
March 31: New Moon. Final Four, New Orleans. First day to plant potatoes, replace toner in office copiers.
April 10: First quarter moon. Azalea and Tiger seasons opens in Georgia.
April 17: First day of Passover. Official start to Avalanche season in Colorado and Hurricanes season in Carolina. Optimal time to begin octopus-tossing in Detroit.
April 20: Easter. Traditional day for Jesus Colome to rise from Tampa Bay bullpen.
April 26: Moon is in Aquarius, NFL scouts are in war room.
May 11: Mother's Day. Homeland Security level is vanilla. Mets ticket price level is chrome. Manny Ramirez's hair is citron.
May 15: Full Flower Moon. Cubs eliminated from pennant race (traditional).
May 19: Cubs eliminated from pennant race (observed).
May 22: Cubs eliminated from pennant race (official).
May 26: Memorial Day. Indiana temporarily raises state speed limit to 250 miles per hour.
June 2: History worth noting: On this date in 1996, a sports talk radio host responded, "Sorry, I don't have an opinion on that -- I don't know all the facts of the situation,'' when asked for his thoughts on a subject.
June 20: Last Quarter Moon. Traditional day for Denver Nuggets to change coaches.
June 21: Summer solstice. Last possible snow day in Green Bay.
June 24: Mid-Summer Day (traditional). First possible snow day in Green Bay.
July 4: Independence Day. Homeland Security level is cream. Mets ticket price level is platinum. Pete Rose's hair color is Gator-Aid.
July 13: Full Buck Moon. Last day to plant marijuana crop at University of Arizona for fall quarter shipment.
July 16: All-Star Game, Chicago. Home Run Derby followed by Tackle the First Base Coach.
July 22: Dog days continue. Sirius visible at sunrise; enormous men sweating, running laps and vomiting visible at football training camps.
July 27: Moon in Gemini. Americans in Paris in yellow jerseys.
July 28: Moon rides high, earthquake weather next five days in San Francisco, particularly five times a game at Pac-Bell Park.
August 5: History worth noting: On this date in 1999, Barry Bonds said good morning to a teammate and asked how he was doing.
August 12: Full Moon. Dog Days end. Homeland Security level is eggshell. Mets ticket price level is aluminum. Scott Spiezio's hair is chestnut with hints of red.
August 27: New Moon. Salmon released from Pacific Northwest fisheries return to rivers; released football players return playbooks to coaches.
Sept. 1: Labor Day: Traditional last day you may wear white pants unless also wearing stirrup socks/helmets.
Sept. 3: First Quarter Moon. Buffalo Sabres players report to training camp. Buffalo Sabres owners report to cell block D.
Sept. 10: Full Harvest Moon. Homeland Security level is burnt umber. Mets ticket price level is bronze. Kazu Sasaki's hair is orange with green highlights.
Sept 23: Autumnal Equinox. Last day to harvest corn, first day to complain about BCS rankings.
Sept. 25: New Moon. Snow geese, Expos leave Canada
Sept. 27: Rosh Hoshana. Official reporting date for all players to NBA training camps.
Oct. 6: Yom Kippur. Traditional reporting date for Gary Payton, Allen Iverson and Derrick Coleman.
Oct. 7: Moon in Capricorn. Woodchucks begin hibernating. So do the Atlanta Braves.
Oct. 13: Columbus Day (observed). Last day to plant tulip bulbs in northern states and bury World Series hopes in Boston.
Oct. 20: History worth nothing: On this date in 1998, an NFL player made a routine play without taunting his opponent.
Oct. 26: Daylight Saving Time ends 2 a.m. Game 6 World Series ends 3 a.m.
Oct. 31: All Hallows Eve (not observed by Albert Belle)
Nov. 1: Sadie Hawkins Day. Ducks, Beavers head south.
Nov. 11: Veterans Day. Open season on deer, BCS system.
Nov. 22: New moon. Last day to burn leaves in Southwest, first day to burn cars in Columbus, Ohio.
Nov. 27: Thanksgiving. Heavy snow expected across Midwest and south to Texas. Expect stalled traffic in Dallas, Detroit backfields.
Dec. 13: Full Long Nights Moon. Heisman Trophy, Continental Tire Bowl bids awarded
Dec. 20: First day of Chanukah, annual Yankees holiday party/layoff notices
Dec. 21: Winter solstice. Fourth Sunday of Advent, 16th Sunday of NFL season. Three teams no longer in playoff hunt.
Dec. 25: Christmas Day. Steinbrenner rehires Cratchit (traditional)
Dec. 26: First day of Kwanza, 29th game of bowl schedule.
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com.