Decision 2000: Page 2 goes to polls
ESPN.comIt's Election Day, and the polls are open at Page 2.
Here's the next race on our ballot:
Position: Secretary of Labor
Job requirements: A blue-collar attitude for a white-collar job. Someone who can make the American Dream a reality for more of the populace.
|Cal Ripken Jr.|
Age: 40 Day job: Third baseman, Baltimore Orioles
Pro: Leads by example with his hard work and reliability. U.S. business productivity would skyrocket if citizens worked like Ripken from 1981-98.
Con: If workforce emulated Ripken in 1999-2000, economy would plummet because of the man-days lost.
Age: 41 Day job: Kicker, Minnesota Vikings
Pro: Keeps workers at the single-bar facemask factory employed.
Con: Can't tackle the tough issues. Have you seen him play defense on kickoff returns?
Age: 43 Day job: Quarterback, Kansas City Chiefs
Pro: Can motivate the workforce with tales of the hardships he faced as a young pro quarterback during the Depression.
Con: Run-and-shoot offense employment statistics have dropped to microscopic levels since early 1990s.
Age: 39 Day job: Defenseman, Colorado Avalanche.
Pro: Everybody loves Raymond.
Con: This isn't a popularity contest. He has to show he can win something bigger than the Norris Trophy.
Age: 27 Day job: New York Jets
Pro: You've got to hand it to him -- in fact, the Jets do on almost every play. Earlier this season, he was on pace to set the single-season NFL record for carries.
Con: One-time relationship with bankrupt singer Toni Braxton might call into question his fiscal responsibility.