Decision 2000: Page 2 goes to polls

It's Election Day, and the polls are open at Page 2.

Here's the next race on our ballot:

Position: Secretary of Labor
Job requirements: A blue-collar attitude for a white-collar job. Someone who can make the American Dream a reality for more of the populace.

The Candidates:

Ripken Jr.
Cal Ripken Jr.
Age: 40     Day job: Third baseman, Baltimore Orioles
Pro: Leads by example with his hard work and reliability. U.S. business productivity would skyrocket if citizens worked like Ripken from 1981-98.
Con: If workforce emulated Ripken in 1999-2000, economy would plummet because of the man-days lost.

Gary Anderson
Age: 41     Day job: Kicker, Minnesota Vikings
Pro: Keeps workers at the single-bar facemask factory employed.
Con: Can't tackle the tough issues. Have you seen him play defense on kickoff returns?

Warren Moon
Age: 43     Day job: Quarterback, Kansas City Chiefs
Pro: Can motivate the workforce with tales of the hardships he faced as a young pro quarterback during the Depression.
Con: Run-and-shoot offense employment statistics have dropped to microscopic levels since early 1990s.

Ray Bourque
Age: 39     Day job: Defenseman, Colorado Avalanche.
Pro: Everybody loves Raymond.
Con: This isn't a popularity contest. He has to show he can win something bigger than the Norris Trophy.

Curtis Martin
Age: 27     Day job: New York Jets
Pro: You've got to hand it to him -- in fact, the Jets do on almost every play. Earlier this season, he was on pace to set the single-season NFL record for carries.
Con: One-time relationship with bankrupt singer Toni Braxton might call into question his fiscal responsibility.

Decision 2000: Attorney General

Decision 2000: President

Decision 2000: Press secretary

Decision 2000: Secretary of Defense

Decision 2000: Secretary of Treasury

Decision 2000: Vice President

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