It's easy to think Americans have nothing in common with the people of Afghanistan, where beards are mandatory, women are shuttered away and Osama bin Laden finds refuge. Consider their national sport, buzkashi, an ancient game in which two teams of horsemen vie for possession of a headless goat carcass. Points are awarded for gaining control of the carcass with one's hands and delivering it to a scoring area.

Comparing buzkashi and NFL
	Buzkashi	NFL
Day played	Sunday	Sunday
Ball/object	Dead goat, minus head	Dead pig, minus head, guts, legs, arms, genitalia -- all but skin
Team scores when it reaches the ...	"Circle of Justice"	"Promised land," aka end zone
Prizes	Money, fine turbans	Money, EAS-logo caps
Game flourished during era of ...	Genghis Khan	Vince Lombardi
Relationship to war	Skilled horsemen held off Alexander the Great for two years	World War II generals thought football made good soldiers
Horses used	Only male studs	Only male studs, plus Martin Gramatica
Players wear	Thick hats, quilted dresses	Thick hats, tight pants
Everyone wants	The "boz," which is what the headless goat is called	The Boz, or at least they did until Bo Jackson got his goat
Unwritten rule	No tying carcass to one's saddle	No dragging QB around after whistle, unless it's Jeff George
Players on field	12	12, if you count fans in louder stadiums
Top players are bestowed with honor of ...	"Chopendaz," a term used to describe best in sport	Haagen-daaz, if Gilbert Brown is given the choice
Fights between fans	Common	Wherever Raiders play
In the 24 hours before game time ...	Dead goat soaks in cold water to toughen it up	Cornerback takes cold shower to toughen himself up
Players after game	Wrestle bare-headed with opponents	Wrestle bare-naked with strippers
Players sometimes take a loss so hard they ...	Drown their opponents in nearest river	Drown their sorrows in Dom Perignon
Those not tough enough for the sport play ...	Topay-danda, similar to stickball	Baseball, similar to stickball