|And Best Actress goes to ...|
By Graham Hays
Page 2 staff
She has hinted at it before, but now it appears that Anna Kournikova might finally be serious about this retirement thing.
Earlier this week, the 22-year-old tennis temptress told the London Evening Standard that she plans to quit tennis in early 2004 and devote herself to becoming an actress and TV awards presenter.
"Acting and presenting are definitely things I enjoy doing," said Kournikova, who recently hosted the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo. "I'd love to appear in something like 'Sex and the City' or 'Friends.' I get offered lots of those sorts of jobs, but I've never had time to pursue them because of my tennis."
Page 2 wishes Anna the best of luck in her new endeavors ... and we're ready to help.
We've put together scripts for not only "Friends" and "Sex and the City," but several other roles that she might want to consider.
Anna joins the cast of MTV's "Newlyweds"
JESSICA: So, like, how did you ever learn to spell your last name, Anna? It sounds so foreign. It must have been so tough as a kid learning things in another language.
NICK: Jessica, she's Russian.
JESSICA: Well, she could have said something if she's in such a hurry, I was just trying to be polite.
ANNA: Russia. World's largest country? Almost twice the size of the U.S.?
JESSICA: Oh, nifty, but how come they named a country after a salad dressing? Hey, do you have buffalo in Russia?
NICK: It's just background noise, Anna. Tune her out and she'll eventually forget to keep taking in oxygen. So why exactly are you moving in with us again?
ANNA: Well, my managers feel like the public has some misconceptions about my intelligence. They think it will help my portfolio if I can prove -- or if Jessica can prove -- that I'm more than just a pretty face with blonde hair. And nobody could track down Debbie Matenopoulos.
JESSICA: Hey, don't those blades on their feet make it really uncomfortable to sleep next to a hockey player?