All right, we're done trying to understand how VH1 figures that JFK Jr. had more influence than his much-more-famous father. We can't figure out how Britney Spears made the top 20, what the heck Tom Cruise is doing all the way up at No. 5, how Katie Couric ranked No. 39, why Babe Ruth is buried at No. 136 ... and how Oprah Winfrey managed to top the music channel's list of the 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons of All Time.
The Page 2 crew has so many complaints about VH1's list of icons that our Dan Shanoff devoted an entire column to the subject. But, hey, we wouldn't criticize the folks who unleashed the brilliance of "Behind the Music" without at least trying to walk in their shoes.
|Hey, we love Britney -- but apparently not as much as the folks at VH1.|
So, how would Page 2 rank the top 10 pop-culture icons of all time? Well, we did that list last summer, and we ranked Elvis No. 1, followed by the Babe, JFK and Marilyn Monroe.
The real question here is who are the ultimate "Page 2 Icons" -- the folks whose fame has fueled Page 2 the most over the last three years (and who we expect to have a prominent impact in the years ahead). Here's our top 10:
1. LeBron James
Don't believe the hype? Heck, at Page 2, we're as much about hype as we are about actual performance. It's King James' world now, and we say long live the King.
2. Mike Tyson
|Hey, who's the old dude with King James?|
Nobody has provided more unintentional comedy for Page 2 over the years than Iron Mike. When he flew pigeons with the Sports Guy atop a Brooklyn apartment building, he etched a permanent spot in our hearts.
3. Jennie Finch
When we discovered the softball phenom at the 2002 ESPY Awards, a star was born. We don't want credit for Jennie's subsequent success ... just some new photos from the red carpet.
4. George Steinbrenner
He's our Darth Vader. He's Hannibal Lecter minus the fava beans. He's Norman Bates without the psycho mother. He's the Nurse Ratched in our Cuckoo's Nest. You get the idea.
5. Jennifer Lopez
Jenny owns our block. Sure, she was the only person to garner two spots in our Most Overrated Bracket ... but we kid because we care.
6. Anna Kournikova
|Ms. Finch isn't the only Jennie ranked ahead of Anna on our list.|
We were once inseparable. She was the MVP of Page 2's first year, and we were a burgeoning section that built its reputation on her name ... and her photo gallery. But now, our fans say she has "jumped the shark," and she's not even the world's hottest female athlete anymore. Oh well, we'll always have Sea Island ... and two years of misty water-colored memories.
7. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
Forget Time and Newsweek. At Page 2, our magazine rack is filled with copies of US Weekly and Entertainment Weekly -- and this super couple has appeared on approximately 457 covers over the last four weeks. If it's all one giant publicity stunt ... well, we won't be the only ones looking silly.
8. Michael Jackson
Where would "What the Heck Are They Thinking?" be without the Gloved One's wacky sensibilities? In Neverland, that's where.
9. Kobe Bryant
Back in our good ol' days, we were fascinated by his petty locker-room battles with Shaq. We'll bet the Mr. Bryant longs for those good ol' days right about now.
10. Tiger Woods
Sure, he's the world's greatest (and perhaps most famous) athlete. However, he wouldn't crack Page 2's Top 10 if it weren't for Elin.
Also receiving votes: Bud Selig, Serena Williams, Takeru Kobayashi, Bob Knight, "The Sopranos," Britney Spears, O.J. Simpson, Angelina Jolie, Mike Price and Larry Eustachy, Pete Rose, Christina Aguilera, Ja Rule, Trista Rehn, Rick Neuheisel.