Witnesses told Page 2 investigators that China's Li Jiajun knocked 19-year-old phenom Apolo Anton Ohno off his skates while under the evil influence of Yoko Ono singing "Touch Me."

And surely no one can doubt the screeching, nails-on-chalkboard sound from 1971's "Yoko Ono & The Plastic Ono Band" would snap even the most focused athlete out of his concentration.