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You can't hide
From the Page 2 mailbag
All eyes and cameras have been on Michael Jordan for the past month, so it's no surprise Page 2's Mystery Photo caught His Airness a little off-guard.
"OK, now when I open my eyes, I won't be on a crappy team ... 1, 2, 3! ... Damn! ..."
Ohmigosh, was that Dennis Rodman in the second row? Man, I sure hope he doesn't recognize me, I really don't want to talk to him.
Scottie, Dennis, Horace, any of you down there? Anyone? Wennington?
This MJ cologne sure takes away the stench of failure.
Hey, Ichabod! Remember me?
Jordan, after a tough loss, contemplates his next potential endorsement gig: Viagra.
The last time that I tried this Bugs and Elmer came to the rescue. Maybe they will help us out ...
Lose your shirt on yet another bet, did ya, Michael?
In an effort to lighten the mood of another Wizards' loss, Michael Jordan shows off his impression of roll-on deodorant.
"Eight-minute abs my ass!"
"Has anybody seen my dignity?"
"Monica? Is that you? I thought you left Washington."
"OK, Dougie, the equipment guy wired me up, so it should be easier for me to relay the plays I want you to call."
Hey, what does this tag say? "Teammates in this uniform may be worse than they appear." D'oh!
Victoria, British Columbia
Hey, if I turn this inside out it's a Laker jersey.
It's gut check time for Jordan.
I know my game is around here somewhere.
St Joseph, Mich.
Seeking to regain his quickness, Michael Jordan angrily orders Ahmad Rashad out of his jock.
Chevy Chase, Md.
Scottie, when I open my eyes, I want you to take off that Hamilton mask. Toni, same goes for you in that Laettner mask.
After a tough loss to the Celtics, Michael Jordan plays peek-a-boo with rookie sensation Kwame Brown to cheer him up. "Where's Kwame, where's Kwame ..."
Pewww, I'm starting to get that "old man smell!"
Obviously, a clip from "Space Jam" just played on the big screen.
Hey, it works for ostriches.
The Woodlands, Texas
"Dangit, that kid from the Mean Joe Greene commercial is back ... this is the third time this month! Spoiled brat."
Well, Christian Laettner looks a little more like Scottie Pippen through my shirt.
Michael Jordan bobblehead doll night goes terribly wrong.
".... and here's my impression of Lamar Odom sneakin' a few puffs during a game."
"I think I left 1992 in my other pants"
Its freezing in here. Now I know how Jennifer Aniston feels.
Staten Island, N.Y.
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: Washington Wizards' Michael Jordan pulls his jersey over his head during the first half of their preseason game Oct. 22, 2001, against the Philadelphia 76ers in State College, Pa.(AP Photo/Chris Gardner)
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