Beyond Yankees domes
From the Page 2 mailbag

Is this a new YES Network sitcom, "Boomer and El Duque"?

We weren't sure what was going on with David Wells and New York Yankees teammate Orlando Hernandez, so we sought your help for explanations. After receiving nearly 2,000 e-mails, we've chosen the best caption suggestions below.

Wells: "Do you know what my hand is?"

Duque: "What?"

Wells: "A brain sucker. Know what it's doing?"

Duque: "What?"

Wells: "Starving"
Dave Sutch
South Elgin, Ill.

"As I look into my crystal ball, I see ... another Yankee's pennant in the future ..."

"All this dieting leaves me so unsatisfied. Hmm, I wonder ... no, not quite ripe yet."
Hawthorne, N.J.

"Hold still, I think you still have seaweed in your ear from your swim over."
Greg Adams
Fort Collins, Colo.

Wells: "El Duque, your head is about the size of one of Pamela Anderson's breasts."

Duque: "How would you know?"
David Couzens
Royal Oak, Mich.

"Yeah, all we have to do is paint ourselves blue, and we'll be ready for the Pentium V commercial auditions!"
Elliot Plaisance
Seminole, Fla.

David Wells is calculating El Duque's real age by counting the number of rings on the top of his head.
Kellen Dougherty
Owego, N.Y.

"Hey, man, this worked in 'Space Jam.' "
Deerfield, Mich.

"That, my friend, is a wet willy."
Yogi Mitchell

In a historic meeting between East and West, Buddha meets up with his nearly identical twin.
Billy Bath
Primos, Pa.

"The power of the Lord compels you!! The power of the Lord compels you!! The power of ..."
Ronald Balle
Morrisville, Pa.

"Hey, did Rivera steal your hair, too?"
Brent Murray
Nova Scotia

In an attempt to create a sense of urgency regarding his pitching staff, George Steinbrenner hires comedian Gallagher to size up Orlando Hernandez's head for use with the Sledge-O-Matic.
Greg Sweet
Fort Wayne, Ind.

"Ooohhhh, genie of the lamp, please grant me a million Blimpie subs and a Cy Young on the side."
Alameda, Calif.

"Seriously, David, it was funny the first time, but I don't actually taste like chicken."
Aaron Ingram

Lifesize El Duque Bobblehead Night seemed like such a good idea at the Friday meeting ...
Simon Fugaa

"Man, I didn't know Jesse Ventura knew the claw hold ..."
James Baltazar

The morning after always hurts when you party with David Wells.
Long Beach, Calif.

David Wells competes in the "Who can pick up El Duque by his head?" competition in the Yankees organization. The competition was later won by defending champ Alfonso Soriano. El Duque, recalling the contest from the year before said, "I'm glad Knoblauch isn't here; he nearly broke my skull when I slipped out of his hand."
Walter Dalton
Muncie, Ind.

"Well, personally, Orlando, I use a counter-clockwise motion when I juice an orange. Here, let me show you."
Dan Bower
Kansas City, Mo.

And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: New York Yankees' David Wells, left, rubs the head of teammate Orlando Hernandez before their game against the Baltimore Orioles on April 16 at Yankee Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/ Ron Frehm)


Mystery Photo responses April 17: Take a number

Mystery Photo responses April 10: Off-Broadway BP

Mystery Photo responses April 3: Ahoy, Matey

Mystery Photo responses March 15: Duck, it's Costner

Mystery Photo responses March 4: Ohno, it's Katie!

Mystery Photo responses Feb.25: Pairs who share

Mystery Photo responses Feb. 6: Two minutes for stripping

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 25: Fore!

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 18: Look into my eyes

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 7: Eye of the Hurricanes

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 31: Might as well jump

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 19: Saint Nicked

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 10: Mac attack

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 3: Swept away

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 26: Tastes like chicken ...

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 19: At least these are in team colors

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 9: You can't hide

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 2: Trick or Treat?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 26: 'So the priest says ...'

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 19: Hello?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 12: Tennis, everyone?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 7: He shoots, he ...

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 28: Safe at home

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 21: Coming up short

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 18: Hat tricks

Mystery Photo Sept. 7: Tough shot

Mystery Photo Aug. 31: Oh, Danny boy!

Mystery Photo Aug. 24: Baby doll

Mystery Photo Aug. 17: Wild night at the ballpark

Mystery photo Aug. 10: Doubles divas

Mystery photo Aug. 3: Hoops, I did it again

Mystery photo July 27: I've got it!

Mystery photo July 20 extras: Fiddling with captions

Mystery photo July 20: The Devil you say?

Mystery photo July 13: The BoSox Boys

Mystery photo July 6: Reunited...

Mystery photo June 29: This just in ...

Mystery photo June 22: Caught in the act

Mystery photo June 18: What's up with Bobby Cox?

Mystery photo June 8: Kobe Bryant plugged

Mystery photo June 1: Something about Shaq

Mystery photo May 25: Two wild and crazy guys

Mystery photo May 17: Nothing but net

Mystery photo May 11: Tim and Jerry

Mystery photo May 3: Drop 'em

Mystery photo April 27: Great seats, eh?

Mystery photo April 23: Ready, aim ...

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