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From the Page 2 mailbag
What do Byung-Hyun Kim and an elephant in the fridge have in common? Neither can close the door!
Even with all their similarities, we still weren't sure what was going on at the All-Star Game between these two, so we asked Page 2 readers for their explanation. Here are the best responses from the 500 e-mails we received.
"Elephant ... Goat. Goat ... Elephant."
After a few poor performances in high-profile games, Byung-Hyun Kim consults the A's mascot on what it's like to work for peanuts.
Here you see yet another late-game pitching option that is still better than a tie game.
Fed up with the abundance of heckling over the past nine months, Kim shows the nose-breathing, (wise-ass) pachyderm exactly what choking is.
Having successfully cleared up any cultural misunderstanding, A's mascot Stomper finishes explaining to foreign-born Byun-Hyun Kim exactly why an elephant represents the Oakland Athletics. Subsequently, Americans in the crowd ask him to speak up.
"Yeah, there ya go ... now you see what I mean? You gotta put the Vaseline waaaay up your nose."
"Hey, Byung, remember the time you gave up those World Series' home runs?! I lost a lot of money on those games! Elephants never forget, man!"
"On behalf of the Republican Party, I would like to thank you, the rest of the players and the owners for continuing to exclude the riff-raff known as 'fans' from our elitist group ..."
"Uhh ... B.K. ... you are aware of MLB's sexual harassment policy aren't you?"
Bud Selig demonstrates that he doesn't care how far he must go ... he will make a joke out of Major League Baseball.
Mama always said, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!"
"Hey, c'mon! I don't come into the bullpen and play with your extremities."
Bob Brenly told Kim to go out there and, "Grab the tiger by the tail." This was the odd result. Proof yet again why you don't cut costs on translators.
"Stupid elephant, that Viagra was for later ... and what'd you do, snort it?!"
Kim: "In my country, you are a delicacy -- we serve you up on a platter."
Arizona closer Byung-Hyun Kim caught in the act with infamous MLB 'roid dealer, Stomper the elephant.
Byung-Hyun Kim reunites with his long lost friend, the Oakland A's elephant. Kim found Stomper choking on a peanut just outside of a village in Zabiria. Kim, an expert in that field, was quick to assist him.
"Hi, nice to meet you. Jason or Jeremy?"
"Ha, Ha! Yeah, I don't get it either! I still have a job, and the Athletics' mascot is an elephant?!"
After finally getting over the humiliation of the "World Series incident," Kim's hopes of an uneventful All-Star Game are dashed when he fell for Stomper's, "Come here and pull my trunk" routine.
"That's Commissioner Dumbo to you, pal!"
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: National League All-Star pitcher Byung-Hyun Kim of the Arizona Diamondbacks shakes hands with the Oakland Athletics' mascot, Stomper, during the NL's batting practice July 8 before the home run derby at Miller Park in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)