|Bang the drum slowly|
From the Page 2 mailbag
Who said Paul Tagliabue has no personality?
The NFL commissioner tried to loosen up before the American Bowl game last week in Japan, but we weren't sure what he was up to with a Japanese drummer and a San Francisco 49ers official. We asked readers what they thought, and here's the best of the 500 responses we received.
The crowd is in awe as NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue goes on a frenzied 20-minute drum solo apparently inspired by the unique Al Davis insignia drum.
The commissioner expresses his sentiments on NFL's popularity throughout the world. ... He was later fined for excessive celebration and a violation of the uniform code.
"Can I just get a freakin' fork?!"
These breadsticks are as stale as Bud Selig's tenure!
In today's press conference announcing his retirement, commissioner Paul Tagliabue explained, "I don't wanna to work, just wanna bang on the drum all day."
"They told him don't you ever come around here. Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear. So beat it ... just beat it!
Paul Tagliabue shows off his drum skills acquired from countless years and record high scores at the local Whack-a-Mole.
With the first pick in the 2003 draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select ... drum roll, please ...
While Tagliabue takes time out to have fun overseas, Bud Selig is dancing to the beat of a different drum back home.
"See man! It's just like Tommy Lee said ... you rock out, and the chicks come runnin'!"
Standing in for Iron Chef blue, Paul Tagliabue prepares his final dish -- Jerry Jones wrapped snuggly around Steve Spurrier's ego.
Easy Mr. Commissioner, its a drum not a Japanese pinata!
On behalf of the NFL, Tagliabue bangs the drum slowly for their terminal old friend, Major League Baseball.
"The tribe has spoken!"
Paul keeps the beat while singing, "We are kicking baseball's butt ... do da ... do da."
My sushi is still moving!
Somewhere right now, under his breath, Bud Selig is uttering "showoff."
Tagliabue, in the mystical Shinto tradition of the ancients, forever banishes the evil spirit of Dennis Miller from the NFL.
An uncharacteristically zealous Paul Tagliabue, relights the sticks with a lit match and mouthful of vodka.
If you bang it, fans will come.
Mr. Tagliabue trains for his Triple Threat Pay Per View Death Match with David Stern and Bud Selig. Although it will cost $95.99 to order and will require a Personal Seat License prior to purchase, it should be money very well spent watching at least two of these dictators bite it.
(Fade in) Said the boogie, said up jump the boogie ...
Paul Taglibue's audition for Blue Man Group went well, but sadly, he was turned down as he refused to shave his head, claiming, "My hair is me, man."
"Yeah, that's right. Big 'Tags likes to smack them skins. I'monget shizzznasty on the bass beat now! Yoko -- say 'Bonzai' for Daddy!"
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue, left, beats a Japanese drum with a Japanese drummer as unidentified representative of San Francisco 49ers owner looks on Aug. 2 during a welcome reception for the 49ers and the Washington Redskins in Osaka, western Japan. The 49ers and the Redskins clash Aug. 4 in an NFL exhibition match at Osaka Dome. (AP Photo/Koji Sasahara)