From the Page 2 mailbag
A lot of hounds are driving Major League Baseball these days, but we still weren't sure what this encounter was all about.
Unable to motivate Mo Vaughn or Robbie Alomar, Bobby tries to teach some other old dogs a new trick.
Meet the Mutts, greet the Mutts.
"Ahhhh ... nothing like the dog days of summer, eh pooches? I swear if this losing streak goes any further, these fans are going to have me neutered faster than you can say, "heartworm."
"What's that, Lassie? ... Mo Vaughn's down? He's fallen where? ... At the Sizzler! ... It was the buffet?? ... Quick girl, go get Timmy!"
Bobby and the Lassies share a laugh after getting the better end of the deal involving Jeromy Burnitz and a year's supply of Purina.
"Oh, I've had to put up with bad baseball all season ... throw me a frickin' bone here!"
Mets manager Bobby Valentine wails in agony as Lassie steps abruptly on his "Mr. Met."
I was going to make a wisecrack about Valentine chatting with Selig and Fehr, but why knock the collie like that?
"Hmmm. I knew Phillips had it in for me ... this might be the only double play combo worse then Roberto Alomar and Rey Ordonez. But, I guess it's worth a shot ... at least they are natural blondes unlike half my guys."
Collie 1: "So wait, who wants a luxury tax? The players or the owners?"
What do ya think, girls? Will three square bowls of Puppy Chow per day help Mo Vaughn slim down? I hear that's what the Yankees feed Jason Giambi.
Bobby V hooks up with two of the better looking females in recent crowds at Shea.
Go figure. He goes to a dog show instead of calling a closed-door meeting in the clubhouse. No wonder they have lost 11 straight home games.
Bobby seeks expert consultation on proper mouth-to-muzzle resuscitation to be administered immediately on his "dying dogs."
"What's that Lassie? Donald Fehr's trapped in the old mine shaft? ... It's about damn time."
Mets' alpha male convenes with the big dogs of the Puppy Chow organization.
When off-duty, Bobby V. likes to hang with his bitches.
"What's that Lassie ... tossed again? Go fetch my mustache girl, go get it!"
Bobby has decided that since he and baseball will soon be in the doghouse, he might as well get acclimated to the cuisine.
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: New York Mets manager Bobby Valentine, left, plays with his two dogs, "Beamer" and "Tommy," right, on Aug. 13 in New York's Times Square. The "Puppy Chow Patrol" was in New York to promote responsible pet adoption. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, HO)