Page 2 Staff
Ahh, the roses, romance and ragged reality of "The Bachelor," an hour-long show with two minutes that matter. Sure, it's overly dramatic and excruciatingly sappy, but it nets 9.9 million viewers who watch religiously every Wednesday night on ABC at 9/8c.
No doubt, there are a lot of "Bachelor"-hating boys out there, but after sitting down with the big guy, Page 2's Mary Buckheit finally knows why ... They're all jealous!
Beats your day job, huh?
Mary sat down with Bob Guiney and fired off 10 Burning Questions. Unlike the rose ceremonies, she didn't pull any punches. Assume the edge of your seat, there are no primers here, this is the final rose ...
1. You started with 25 women. Did you, or did you not, make out with every one of them?
I did not.
Give me a number.
I cannot divulge that information ... it is locked up tighter than the Roswell Files.
C'mon. 10? 12? Ballpark.
No can do.
Great, I can't even break big Bob Guiney.
I'm a tough interview.
2. OK, how do they pick the pool of 25 women? Did you draw a little sketch of the ideal lady?
Nah, I'm not much of an art-ist. I guess they knew I liked girls who are a little sassy at times. And I need them to have a sense of humor ... and put up with mine. I didn't really give them a body type or hair color or anything like that.
C'mon. You didn't request those 25 blonde size-2s?
That was all their doing.
3. What you were thinking when "the twins" got out of the limo?
You gave them both the axe on the first show ... would you ever have kept just one of them and canned the look-a-like?
No. You can't do that.
All or nothing.
4. Everywhere -- on buses, billboards, magazines -- "America asked for Bob, and you got him!" How exactly did we ask for you? Were you like a write-in on the Bachelor ballot?
Well, I guess it was just the response I got from being on "The Bachelorette." There were people e-mailing ABC and writing letters to the show and calling in. I guess I got a considerable amount of fan mail. So the network asked me to be "The Bachelor." I was a little reluctant at first, but then I was like, "Let's do it!"
Wellllllll, I had a few leads, but I didn't know if any of them were "the ones." I think that when it comes to relationships, you should really be as exploratory as possible, just to be sure you find the person that works best with you.
"Exploratory," huh, Bob? Hate the game, not the player, folks.
5. Do you watch reality TV?
Reality TV? ... I watch the news.
Ahh, the trailblazers in all of this nonsense. Who'd have thought the 6 o'clock news would pave the way for "Elimidate."
It was a slippery slope.
Did you watch any of the other seasons of "The Bachelor"?
I watched a little of Aaron's season, and I watched the first one with Trista and Alex. But I really am not into watching them too much. Not anymore than anyone else anyway.
I like "Alias."
Be straight with me, Bobby. Do you like "Alias" or do you like Jennifer Garner?
Ha. Well, I like them both. I guess I like Jennifer Garner a little bit more than I like "Alias."
6. OK, I know you were in a pretty serious band. You guys still on hiatus?
Well actually, I have an album coming out pretty soon. It's not the whole band -- no more "Fat Amy" -- it's just me.
Oooh, The Bachelor's solo debut! Look out Dave Matthews.
Yep, it's called "Three Sides."
I saw Radiohead the other night. I'd love to open for them. That would be great, although they'd make me look pretty bad, though.
Aww, c'mon ... Bob Guiney ... Thom Yorke ... you're right there.
I don't know about that!
7. What is the worst pick-up line you've ever used in a bar?
Umm, I'm not really that big on pick-up lines, honestly. I just go up and start talking to girls. I've heard some good ones in my day, though.
The girls on the show have certainly used a couple.
Yes, yes. I've heard a few.
Kristi used the ever-popular, "I'll take one of you with nothing on it."
Another girl said she wanted to soak you up like gravy, or something?
Yeah, Lindsay from South Carolina said she wanted to "sop me up with a biscuit."
I kinda like those, actually.
Ahh, I knew it! You say you aren't a fan ... but when you are covered in gravy it's not so bad.
I definitely don't mind it! Guys love that stuff.
Gross. I refuse to resort to being a biscuit.
8. Hey, is it just me or do you guys drink a ton at those mixer parties?
Nah, that's all fancy editing, there is actually no drinking going on at all.
Lies. Those poor girls are so nervous to begin with, plus they weigh about 90 pounds each and then ABC has them drinking like fish!
It's all tonic and lemons, I swear.
I hope not, they better be saucy, otherwise they're REEAAALLY emotional.
Hey, it's an intense environment.
It sure is. Does it freak you out that these girls were totally infatuated with you from the get-go?
Well, it's obviously very flattering ... I feel like a lot of the women felt like they knew me already from having seen me on "The Bachelorette" and then on the different TV shows I did in between then and this. You know, it was the first time anybody knew who the guy was that they were going to meet and I think that definitely had everything to do with their level of enthusiasm and interest. I was very flattered by it all, of course.
9. I noticed you have a merchandise section on your personal Web site ... can I do all my Christmas shopping on BobGuiney.com?
Well, it's kind of interesting, actually. The guy who designed the Web site did it while I was away filming "The Bachelor." So I got a phone call from my mom one day, and she told me that you could buy all this stuff on there, and frankly, that really freaked me out. I asked him to take that section off because it was driving me crazy, I really don't think I need a merchandise section, I thought the whole thing seemed pretty egotistical. I guess he ended up taking some of it down, and there are a few things left. I'm not really sure what you can buy on there now, but I do know that all the proceeds go to charity, so that makes me feel a little bit better. I don't see a penny of it, it all goes to the Eye of the Storm charity foundation out of Detroit. It's for the cause, I do not need a merchandise section.
Well Bob, you are a big celebrity now, you made the cut into our Celebrity Fantasy Football league.
Yes, I am in that league. In fact, I must say I am doing very well with my boy Joey Harrington at the helm and Charles Rogers before he got hurt.
Staying true to D-town.
You know, there is a "rose ceremony pool" game on ABC.com ... it's kinda like fantasy football, only you pick the best girls on the show instead of quarterbacks or running backs ... and they play for a diamond pendant necklace instead of a t-shirt.
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Wow, I had no idea. These fans are intense.
Cut-throat. Who says chicks don't get fantasy sports?
Wow, a rose ceremony fantasy league ... there you have it.
10. OK folks, this is the final rose.
Last question, Bob -- what is the worst part about all this hoopla?
The worst part is definitely that since the show is still airing, I'm not allowed to be seen with the woman that I've chosen. We haven't really been able to hang out since we finished taping because it's obviously a secret until the final show airs. So that is a bummer.
No, we can't even text message, you can get caught with that stuff these days!
Geez. So she if off-limits, huh?
We talk to each other via phone, and sneak in an in-person meeting once in a while. It's rough.
Yeah, they keep an eye on us.
"The Bachelor" meets "Big Brother." So, you can't even tell me who you picked?
What? Is the room bugged?
So I'm not getting it out of you.
I'm not talkin'.
Well, there goes the interview.
I told you I was tough.