| | | In finalizing your bracket picks, don't forget to keep in mind these 16 deceptively simple -- yet potentially profitable -- tips:
1. Always choose teams named after occupations (for example, take Butler over Wake Forest).
|  | | Iowa State's Larry Eustachy can't argue our rule on mock turtlenecks. |
2. If you don't know what state the school is in, don't pick it -- except in the play-in game (for
example, Northwestern State? Northwestern of what? Florida?).
3. Never pick anything with a direction -- and be wary of anything that has a "State" in it (except Michigan State, natch).
4. If it's from Utah and isn't coached by Rick Majerus, better scratch 'em in Round One. (For the record, that's Utah State, Southern Utah, BYU, Utah Miner's School, Josh Heupel's alma mater Snow Junior College, etc.).
5. Always pick teams that have changed their name for PC reasons. (For some reason, Hofstra felt Flying Dutchmen was somehow un-PC, so pick the Pride to upset UCLA. This rule also bodes well for top-seeded Stanford, which went from the Indians to the Cardinal long ago, but still hasn't been fully rewarded for it.)
6. If you're looking for tourney experience, don't pick Big East schools (B.C., Providence, Notre Dame, Georgetown ... all relative newbies).
7. If a team has a 7-foot center who plays like he's 6-5, don't pick them to make the Elite Eight. (Brendan Haywood's inside game has been seen on the side of milk cartons in Chapel Hill.)
8. Don't take a team coached by a guy who thinks a mock turtleneck is a substitute for a nice suit. (Yes, we're talking about you, Larry Eustachy.)
9. Always go with coaches who give good quotes. (Keep an eye on Phil Martelli of St. Joe's.)
10. Good guards=good success. Good guard=early exit. One man can't carry a team (a k a the Harold Miner Rule).
11. Always go with a great point guard over a great shooting guard (a k a the Shawn Respert Rule).
12. Depth is better than seniors (a k a the Trajan Langdon Rule).
13. Avoid any West Coast team that has to travel East and play early games. (Gonzaga in Memphis, this means you.)
14. If you haven't heard of them, don't pick them for the Elite Eight. (Mom, this means you're on the right track picking Hofstra to go down in the Sweet 16.)
15. Don't take them if they are named after a member of the Constitutional Convention -- unless their founder actually attended. (For those few of you who aren't American history buffs, examples of the basic rule would include George Mason, but not Brigham Young. The exception applies, as far as we know, only to Thomas Jefferson's Virginia, which is definitely OK.)
16. Avoid all teams coached by anyone named Williams (exhibit A: Roy; exhibit B: Gary).
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