For as long as we can remember, Sports Illustrated apologists have "justified" the existence of their annual swimsuit issue -- a huge cash cow -- with the excuse that it is for women looking to buy The Perfect Suit. In other words, the luscious supermodels are there just to keep the swimsuits from falling on the ground and getting all rumpled and sandy. Uh-huh.

As our readers well know, we at Page 2 are no saints ... but nor are we hypocrites. And so, for our very first swimsuit issue, we are dispensing with those distracting and trouble-causing (not to mention expensive and demanding) supermodels.

Without further ado, here are our editors' picks for the Finest in Lycra, 2003. Ladies, start your credit cards!

The Classic		Flower Girl
How can you go wrong with a suit that has stood the test of time? It's the Mr. Potato Head of swimwear and unlike some suits that have been making headlines, it doesn't need to be painted on.		Take a trip back to the '60s in this two-piece number and your time at the beach will be full of peace and love. (Flowers and illicit drugs not included)

Daisy Duke		Evening Wear
When you're a little bit country and a little bit rock 'n' roll there's no better suit to have fun in than this Ode to the Dukes of Hazard.		Hey, swimsuit models deserve a night on the town, especially after a long grueling day in the sun. Come to think if it, you deserve one, too. So be like Petra, Tyra, Rebecca and start turning heads in this black beauty.

Island Hopping		Absolute Trendy
Close your eyes and let this suit whisk you away to a tropical paradise where your cares will melt away. That is, until you open your eyes and realize you're sitting on a Budweiser towel on your deck in Jersey.		It's time to think outside the box and get a little daring. Sure, the starfish will probably give you a rash and you'll be rinsing away sand in the shower for weeks ... but if you really want to look like an SI swimsuit model, this is the outfit you'll need.