Nic Cage's marriage was about as successful as "Captain Corelli's Mandolin."

What the heck was Nicolas Cage thinking when he filed for divorce from Lisa Marie Presley after only three months of marriage?

A. "Turns out it was Priscilla Presley in those steamy love scenes with Leslie Nielsen in 'Naked Gun.' "

B. "I quickly figured out where Michael learned that child-dangling trick."

C. "J-Lo has been with Ben for how long? She's bound to be on the market in a few weeks."

D. "We've been married for three months and still you won't introduce me to your father. Screw this."

E. "I wasn't really married, I was just researching a movie role where I play a married person."

F. "She couldn't handle it when I was 'Gone in 60 Seconds.' "