What the heck was Nike thinking when it gave Freddy Adu -- a 13-year-old soccer star -- a $1 million contract?

	"Hey, I'm 13 ... just like that kid Danny Almonte."

A. "Now let's see those pinko liberals complain about the average wage of our 13-year-old workers."

B. "We'll call it corporate synergy. We can put him to work in the factory between games and commercial shoots."

C. "It may seem like a lot of money, but the contract stipulates that we get to change the name of Ghana, where he's from, to 'Nike Town'."

D. "Actually, it was a clerical error. We thought we were signing Bobby Abreu."

E. "Thirteen years old? That's nothin'. Right now we have representatives inside uteruses all across the country signing embryos to multi-million dollar endorsement deals."

F. Oh, crap! He plays that kind of football?