Just when Page 2 thought it was safe to throw out our VCR in favor of the DVR and DVD, along came Paris.

Following in the tawdry footsteps of Tonya Harding, Rob Lowe, Pam and Tommy, and countless others, Paris Hilton has made quite a name for herself this week with the wide circulation of a videotape of wild sexcapades.

	How can you be surprised? Paris is always ready for her close up.

Rapidly becoming an underground phenomenon, the tape has appeared all over the Internet, been sold on eBay and screened in countless New York office buildings.

Page 2 cannot show you the tape (hey, we're a family Website -- a dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless), but we do feel that it's our civic duty to provide as much information as possible about this major pop-culture event.

Thus, we've produced a special Paris Hilton edition of "What the Heck Are They Thinking?"

Check out Paris' deep thoughts and then vote in the poll at right to explore more aspects of Tapegate.

What the heck was Paris Hilton thinking when she heard about the release of the tape?

A. "The timing has absolutely nothing to do with the debut of my new reality series, 'The Simple Life,' premiering Tuesday, Dec. 2, at 8 p.m. ET on Fox. Nothing at all! Did I mention the debut episode has been extended to a full hour on Dec. 2?"

B. "It was about time the Hilton Hotel chain updated its in-room movie choices."

C. "Are they going to sell this tape at the Wal-Mart place? Damn, I hate commoners."

D. "The guy said he was from 'Celebrities Uncensored,' and I just love that show."

E. "This is really embarrassing, but I should be OK as long as I can prevent the release of that photo of me doing the 'full Sharon Stone' while climbing out of a car."

F. "What's the Internet?"