Top 10 Cuban changes at Dairy Queen
By Mark Talkington
Special to Page 2

Mark Cuban
Mark Cuban will treat you right.
Top 10 changes to expect now that Mark Cuban has spent some time behind the Coppell, Texas, Dairy Queen counter:

10. After pulling in a profit thanks to the gawkers-and-media lunch rush Wednesday, the franchise will be sold to McDonald's and Cuban will retire -- again

9. Shawn Bradley will be brought in to reach extra napkins stored on high shelf

8. Recently unemployed Steve Spurrier will be hired as assistant manager just for his love of attractive visors

Shawn Bradley
Shawn Bradley, for those hard-to-reach places.
7. Ernst & Young accountants hired to keep track of customer's straw usage

6. Cuban will insist his name tag be changed to read "Dairy King"

5. Employees will be asked to dress down in order to fit in better with the boss

4. New marketing slogan: "It's Nowitzkidillyiscious"

3. New Dennis the Menace spokesperson will be unveiled: This time it's Rodman!

Steve Spurrier
Steve Spurrier
2. Cuban will complain that health inspectors ask to see food handler permits of his cooks 23 percent more often than those of Arby's cooks

And the No. 1 change to expect now that Mark Cuban has worked at a Dairy Queen:

1. He'll match day's Blizzard consumption 1-for-1


Mark Talkington Archive

Cuban's just desserts come Wednesday

Dairy Queen to Cuban: Try managing our stores

Sportoon, Jan. 11: Welcome to Dairy Cuban

Caple: The Cuban Blizzard Crisis

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